• The Picture Diet!

    A married lady, visited her elderly parents' home.

    When she opened refrigerator, she was shocked to see inside a picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman in two-piece bikini.

    Lady: Mom, what's this?

    Mom: Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat.

    Lady: Is it working?

    Mom: Yes and No.

    I've lost 8 kilos, but your dad has gained 20...!!!
  • Walking Backward!

    Every day Francesca went to the cemetery in her village to water the flowers on the grave of her deceased husband Enzo.

    When she was finished she always walked backwards when leaving the grave.

    One day her friend Bianca asked, "Francesca why do you always leave the cemetery walking backwards?"

    Francesca answered, "When Enzo was alive he always told me 'You've got such a great ass; it could bring a dead man back to life!' I'm not taking any chances !"
  • I'm The Boss!

    The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

    The next day, he brought a small sign that Read: "I'm the Boss !"

    He then taped it to his office door.

    Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
  • It Wasn't Me...

    As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Kumar became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a drop dead gorgeous young lady.

    As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the lady suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Kumar, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

    Bewildered, Mr. Kumar was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I didn't pinch that girl."

    "Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly, "I did."