• Newly Married Bride

    Once a mother-in-law explaining the working of her house to her newly married Daughter-in-law.

    She said, "I am the home minister as well as the finance minister of this house. Your Father in law is the Foreign minister of this house. My son, that is your husband, heads the ministry of demand and supply and my daughter that is your husband's sister, runs the planning & development ministry........!!!

    "Now you tell which ministry would you like to run.......?????"

    The daughter -in-law with a smile instantly replied, "Well, dear mother in law I will be running the OPPOSITION!!!!!!!"
  • Keep it short!

    At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honour was about to deliver his speech when his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.

    A guest seated next to the speaker said, "It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much."

    The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters stand for "Keep it short, stupid."
  • Future Plans

    Now that they've retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future.

    "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.

    After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.

    Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?"

    He replied, "Probably the same thing."
  • Whose Mom!!!

    Husband: Mom, called me and she is coming tomorrow, her train will reach by 4 O' Clock.

    Wife: What! She came just 4 months back, right? Why is she coming now? Tomorrow is Sunday, I thought of getting up late, but your mom had to come on a Sunday itself and that too morning 4:00 o'clock. Where will she get an auto at that time? I will not make any warm breakfast, she will have to do with biscuits and bread. The kids will also not go to play, as she spoils them by getting chocolates, toffees and pastries for them. For how many days is she going to stay?

    Husband: Not my mom, your mom is coming.

    Wife: Wow really! mom is coming. It's been more than 2 months I have seen her. Listen na, I have the number of the auto driver, please ­call him and tell him to reach the station on time tomorrow morning. It's good tomorrow is Sunday, I will get up early and make breakfast. She will get cakes and cookies for the kids and they will play and enjoy with their grandmother. Hope she stays for a fortnight.
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