• Wife's Lover !

    Wife's Lover !
    The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the 'other man'.

    The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90's and all, he decided to handle the matter in what he judged to be sophisticated and business-like manner.

    He sent the following e-mail to his wife's lover:

    Sir, It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you have been carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may settle this matter in an intelligent fashion, please be at my office at 3 PM on Friday next.

    The 'other man' was highly amused by the husband's formal manner and sent the following reply:

    Dear Sir, I have received a copy of the your mass mailing this morning. You may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference in your office's auditorium.
  • Real Mother !

    Real Mother !
    A family was having dinner on Mother's Day.

    For some reasonthe mother was unusually quiet.

    Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

    "Nothing," said the woman.

    Not buying it, he asked again.

    "Seriously, what's wrong?"

    "Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as "Thank you.""

    Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."

    Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."
  • Toilet Paper Miracle

    Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

    Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

    "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

    Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

    "How long will this take?" she asks.

    "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

    The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

    "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

    He lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again...
  • Wife's Lovers

    "So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."

    "That's correct," replies the defendant.

    "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you took out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her."

    "That's correct," replies the defendant.

    "Then my question to you is," demands the prosecutor, "why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?"

    "It seemed easier," the defendant says, "than shooting a different man every day!"