|During work, John and William were chatting:|
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said: "And you, do you know who is George Hunt?"
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this...
|Robert was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.|
He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.
He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
Robert's wife replied, "Why thank you, dear!"
|A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.|
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him, "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
|A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."|
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked... "And where were you when I got married?"