Doctors Jokes

A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.

"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced, "I'm back!"

Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."

An old woman went to see her doctor about her constipation problem.

"It's horrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week."

"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor.

"Yes, doctor," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a 20 minutes in the morning and again at night."

"No," the doctor said, `I mean do you take anything?"

"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

Doctor, I have an ear ache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 B.C. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!

Three doctors went duck hunting and a bird flew overhead.

The general practitioner looked at it and said, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck," and he took a shot at it but missed and the bird flew away.

When the next bird came into view, the pathologist looked at it, then through the pages of a bird manual, and said, "Hummmm... white wings, yellow bill, quacking sound... might be a duck," and by the time he raised this gun to shoot, the bird was long gone.

The surgeon raised his gun and shot down a third bird almost without looking, then turned to the pathologist and said, "Go see if that was a duck."