• Phenomenol 2 Letter Word

    I'm sure you will enjoy this. One word in the English language that could be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep is UP. Read until the end... you'll laugh.

    This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
    It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

    At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

    At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

    To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

    And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP.

    We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

    To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

    If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more.

    When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now...... my time is UP!

    So, did this whole thing, crack you UP?

    Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book... or not... it's UP to you.

    Now I'll shut UP!
  • The Breathalyzer Test

    A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.

    "I can't do that, officer."

    "Why not?"

    "Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

    "Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."

    "Can't do that either, officer."

    "Why not?"

    "Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

    "Alright, we could get a blood sample."

    "Can't do that either, officer."

    "Why not?"

    "Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."

    "Fine then, just walk this white line."

    "Can't do that either, officer."

    "Why not?"

    "Because I'm too drunk to do that."
  • You aren't Sterile!

    A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl.

    The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.

    He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.

    As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't sterile!"

    With out missing a beat, he retorted "You're telling me!"
  • Visiting a Dentist

    During Zia's rule, a gentleman travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out.

    The Karachi dentist said, "Surely you have dentists in Islamabad! You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth attended to."

    "We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to open our mouths," replied the man with the aching tooth!
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