• Will I Live To Be 80?

    I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well for my age".

    A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

    He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"

    "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing either."

    Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

    I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

    "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

    "No, I don't," I said.

    He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

    "No,"I said. "I don't do any of those things."

    He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a hoot if you live to be 80?"
  • Doubting Hubby's Character

    A Lady patient to the Doctor inside his examination room: Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.

    Doctor: Trust me lady, I am a Doctor and I am a Gentleman.

    Lady patient: No Sir, that's not the issue. Your beautiful receptionist is alone outside and my husband is neither a doctor nor a gentleman...!!!!!!
  • Doctor's Advice

    Yesterday I was talking to my doctor and after knowing my occupation he advised:

    You must exercise more. Don't buy cold drinks from stalls. Drink more plain water. Don't drive when going out. Take public transport or walk. Don't eat out.. Eat less meat especially seafood. Keep to vegetarian diet if possible.

    I nodded and asked: May I know what's wrong with me?

    He answered: Teri Salary Bahut Kam Hai Re...
  • Miracle Cure

    A woman needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her throat swabbed for a culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite some time with her legs crossed, reading a magazine while other patients came and went.

    Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was "asleep". Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door.

    She noticed one elderly lady nudging another who sat beside her, as the two of them sympathetically watched her painful progress.

    Five minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, she walked easily back into the waiting room.

    As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard one whisper triumphantly to the other, "See, Martha, I TOLD you he was a wonderful doctor!"
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