• Doctor's Advice

    Yesterday I was talking to my doctor and after knowing my occupation he advised:

    You must exercise more. Don't buy cold drinks from stalls. Drink more plain water. Don't drive when going out. Take public transport or walk. Don't eat out.. Eat less meat especially seafood. Keep to vegetarian diet if possible.

    I nodded and asked: May I know what's wrong with me?

    He answered: Teri Salary Bahut Kam Hai Re...
  • Miracle Cure

    A woman needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her throat swabbed for a culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite some time with her legs crossed, reading a magazine while other patients came and went.

    Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was "asleep". Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door.

    She noticed one elderly lady nudging another who sat beside her, as the two of them sympathetically watched her painful progress.

    Five minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, she walked easily back into the waiting room.

    As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard one whisper triumphantly to the other, "See, Martha, I TOLD you he was a wonderful doctor!"
  • Cheap Hearing Aid

    Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.

    "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesperson.

    "That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

    "Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser.

    The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.

    "How does it work?" asked Morris.

    "For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
  • Learn a New Sport

    On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition, "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly."

    The doctor then began listing orders:
    "You must give an injection in a different location every twenty minutes followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of water every twenty-five minutes and must void between.

    "Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times.

    "Chart his condition and vital signs every twenty minutes. You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not able to play golf well."

    The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient's room. She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about the patient.

    The nurse started, "The doctor said that you will live." Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, "But you will have to learn a new sport."
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT