• Military Personal Insurance

    Airman Jackson was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

    It wasn't long before Captain Haverty noticed that Airman Jackson was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.

    Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jackson's sales pitch.

    Jackson explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."
    "Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they're gonna send into battle first?"
  • Imaginary Enemy

    During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it. Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response.

    "You there," the sergeant shouts, "the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire. Action!"

    The recruit takes ten steps to one side.

    "What are you doing, man?" Yells the sergeant, purple with fury.

    "I'm taking shelter behind an imaginary hill, Sergeant," answers the recruit calmly.
  • Military Roll Call

    It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
    "Ames"
    "Here!"

    "Jenson"
    "Here!"

    "Jones"
    "Here!"

    "Magersky"
    "Here!"

    "Seeback"
    No answer.

    "Seeback!"

    No answer was heard again.

    "SEEBACK!!!"

    The troops remained totally silent.

    At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.
  • Dirty Magazines!

    An army major called his wife to tell her that he would be late home because dirty magazines had been found in the barracks and the soldiers responsible were facing serious disciplinary action.

    "The punishment sounds a little harsh," she said.
    "After all, most of the soldiers have pictures of women on the walls of their quarters."

    "No Honey..." the major explained patiently, "Dirty magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned properly!"