• My Wife is Expecting

    A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend.

    "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting."

    "Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck."

    The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation, "My wife's expecting."

    The Officer looked surprised.

    "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off."

    When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper.

    "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed.

    "Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting."

    "What in heaven is she expecting?" cried the Officer.

    "Me," said the soldier simply.
  • Laugh at Your Boss' Jokes

    In a unit gathering, the commanding officer cracked a joke. Everybody laughed except the young Lieutenant.

    Commanding officer to Lieutenant: I think you didn't get the joke.

    Lieutenant: Sir I am from a different unit.

    Second half of the joke:
    CO: Oh ! But you know what? Your CO is my Course mate and my Sqn Type.

    Lieutenant: Ha.... Ha..... Ha..... Ha.... Now I got the joke Sir. Ha.... Ha....

    Third part of the joke:
    Youngster: Sir I had already heard the joke at Corps Commander's party that is why I didn't laugh!!

    CO: What? What were you doing there???

    Youngster: He's my uncle, sir!!!

    CO: Arrey Bhai Koi Drink Toh Pilao Guest Ko!!!

    And for the rest of the evening CO laughed on youngster's jokes!!!!
  • Military Personal Insurance

    Airman Jackson was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

    It wasn't long before Captain Haverty noticed that Airman Jackson was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.

    Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jackson's sales pitch.

    Jackson explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."
    "Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they're gonna send into battle first?"
  • Imaginary Enemy

    During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it. Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response.

    "You there," the sergeant shouts, "the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire. Action!"

    The recruit takes ten steps to one side.

    "What are you doing, man?" Yells the sergeant, purple with fury.

    "I'm taking shelter behind an imaginary hill, Sergeant," answers the recruit calmly.