• How to Choose a General?

    Soon after getting freedom from British rule in 1947, the de-facto prime minister of India, Jawahar Lal Nehru called a meeting of senior Army Officers to select the first General of the Indian army.

    Nehru proposed, "I think we should appoint a British officer as a General of The Indian Army, as we don't have enough experience to lead the same."

    Having learned under the British, only to serve and rarely to lead, all the civilians and men in uniform present nodded their heads in agreement.

    However one senior officer, Nathu Singh Rathore, asked for permission to speak. Nehru was a bit taken aback by the independent streak of the officer, though, he asked him to speak freely.

    Rathore said, "You see, sir, we don't have enough experience to lead a nation too, so shouldn't we appoint a British person as the first Prime Minister of India?"

    You could hear a pin drop.

    After a pregnant pause, Nehru asked Rathore, "Are you ready to be the first General of The Indian Army?"

    Rathore declined the offer saying, "Sir, we have a very talented army officer, my senior, Gen. Cariappa, who is the most deserving among us."

    This is how the brilliant Lt. Gen. Cariappa became the first General and Rathore the first ever Lt. General of the Indian Army.
  • Thousand Salutes!

    A youngster got posted to FM Sam Maneckshaw's unit when Sam was the CO.

    This youngster was on his rounds when one of the riflemen did not notice him and missed saluting him. The youngster got cheesed and called out to the Gorkha and asked him the reason for not saluting.

    The Gorkha innocently gave out the reason that he did not see "Leftent Huzoor".

    The youngster not convinced, punished the Gorkha to a thousand salutes.

    The soldier immediately started saluting.

    Sam who was passing by, asked the youngster as to what was happening.

    The youngster said, "Sir this soldier had the audacity of not saluting me. So I have punished him with 1000 salutes."

    Sam replied, "Bloody good punishment young man. But ensure that you return each of his salutes."

    For the next two hours the unit was treated to a scene of a Gorkha saluting, and the young officer returning each of his salutes.

    Respect, is a two way street.
  • Learning Punjabi

    During the British Raj, it was felt that bonding with the locals would be better if English officers could speak in Punjabi.

    Accordingly, a Punjabi tutor was arranged for a Gora Major Saab.

    After a month the tutor felt he had taught the British Major good Punjabi.

    The Major's commanding officer in Lahore, the British General, decided to personally test the Major.

    So, he threw some ink on the table and asked the Major to describe in Punjabi what happened.

    Major: Aithay ink Kinnay giraayi Hai?

    The tutor looked happy but the General was disappointed and asked them to further improve the Punjabi. Another month passed and it was time for another test. The General again threw ink on the table and asked the same question.

    Major replied in his improved style: Aitthay Siyahi Kinnay Doli Aa?

    The tutor was thrilled but the General was still not satisfied. So the tutor asked what the General was expecting. The General said he would demonstrate and called a desi Punjabi Sergeant to come into the office.

    The Sergeant walked in, saw the mess and immediately screamed: Oye Kanjaro ! Eh Maiz Di Maa Behan Kinne Kitti Aa?

    The old General stood up, applauded and announced: Now, that, gentleman is Punjabi.
  • The Arab Pilot

    During the war between Israel and the Arab Countries an Arabic plane was shot down. The pilot was captured and the Israelis tries to get him to tell all technical details about the plane.

    "How fast can it fly?"

    The pilot says nothing and the Israelis gives him a good beating.

    "How many rockets does the plane carry?"

    Again the pilot doesn't responds and he get another good beating.

    "What is the maximum altitude of flying?"

    The pilot responds with silence, and get another beating. This goes on and on and the Israelis get nothing out of the Arabic pilot so they decide to release him.

    When the pilot returned home he was considered to be a national hero and he get interviewed by a reporter. The reporter asks the pilot if he has any tips to other pilots if they get caught.

    "Make sure you know all the technical details about the planes, otherwise they beat the crap out of you!"