• Different Girl!

    The soldier asked for a furlough, so that he might get married.

    "How long have you known the Girl?" His superior asked.

    "A Week."

    "Why, my lad, that is hardly long enough. I suggest that you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married, I shall grant you a furlough."

    In two months the soldier was back, reminding his superior of his promise.

    "So you still want to get married? My, My ! I did not suppose that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for such a long time nowadays."

    "I know, sir. But it is not the same girl, sir."
  • What Time Is It?

    On some Air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

    The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

    The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

    The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference... If it's a commercial flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it's an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it's a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it's an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'"
  • Free Whiskey

    A soldier, who was habitually drunk, publicly announced to all the men in his company and surrounding companies that he was swearing off drinking and that all the other soldiers should give up this foul habit also.

    The other soldiers would tease him to fall off the wagon by giving him whiskey and get him drunk. Every morning he would be back preaching about the sins of alcohol.

    One day his friend told him he ought to give up preaching about the evils of the jug as he always ends up drunk.

    With a twinkle in his blood shot eyes he said, "What, and give up all that free whiskey?"
  • A Little Late!

    For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 AM on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late.

    Consequently, when on one particular day 9 AM passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor.

    Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent.

    He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself."

    And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"