• Dirty Magazines!

    An army major called his wife to tell her that he would be late home because dirty magazines had been found in the barracks, and the soldiers responsible were facing serious disciplinary action.

    "The punishment sounds a little harsh," she said. "After all, most of the soldiers have pictures of women on the walls of their quarters."

    "No, honey,," he explained patiently. "Dirty magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned properly!"
  • Enemy or Friends?

    The Pakistani Major had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from India.

    "Khan," he ordered his aide-de-camp, "I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of Indian military activity."

    "Ok, Major," replied Khan.

    He trudged up the mountain, and as soon as he crossed the ridge he saw a squadron of planes heading their way.

    "There are many planes coming, Major," he promptly radioed back.

    "Friends or enemies?" the Major demanded urgently.

    Khan again lifted his binoculars to the sky.

    "They're flying very closely together, Major," he replied. "I think they must be friends."
  • Roll Call

    It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:

    "Ames"
    "Here!"
    "Jenson"
    "Here!"
    "Jones"
    "Here!"
    "Magersky"
    "Here!"
    "Seeback"
    No answer.
    "Seeback!"
    No answer was heard again.
    "SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.

    At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.