• The New Signature

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's.

    He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show) you get the idea.

    One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

    "So vat's the problem? Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

    Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing, he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2.

    Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble, he said, "but my wife said that since I'm now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"
  • Not for Sale!!!

    A picky lady customer at a Supermarket's fruit department watches as a new delivery of fresh fruit is delivered.

    "Give me two kilo of oranges and wrap every orange in a separate piece of paper, please", the picky lady says to the saleslady.

    Silently the sales lady serves the picky customer.

    "And three kilo of apples, please, and wrap each and every one in a separate piece of paper, too."

    Gritting her teeth, the saleslady once again obliges the picky customer.

    "And what is that over there", the picky customer says as she points to a basket in the corner.

    "Grapes,, says the saleslady with a big grin on her face, "but they are not for sale!!!"
  • 9 Points to Ponder

    Number 9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

    Number 8. Life is sexually transmitted.

    Number 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Number 6. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes make him a sandwich.

    Number 5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

    Number 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

    Number 3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    Number 2. In the 60's, people took drugs to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take antidepressants to make it normal.

    Number 1. Life is like a jar of mirchi chutney. What you enjoy today might burn your ass tomorrow...

    and as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long...!!!
  • Avoid Ice...

    Beer and ice will give you hangovers.

    Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.

    Rum and& ice will ruin your liver.

    Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.

    Gin and& ice will ruin your brain.

    Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth

    Apparently ICE is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: LAY OFF THE ICE! Just drink it straight!!!

    Copy and paste this immediately. You could save a life!!! AND, don't forget ice also sank the Titanic!