Miscellaneous Jokes

A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions.

"Professionally employed?" he asked.

"We're a military family," the wife answered.

"Children?"

"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.

"Animals?"

"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."

Smith went on a date in a brand new Range Rovers Sport ride with his new girlfriend of 1 month....

Smith: I have been hiding a secret from you and I think you'll break up with me if I tell you the truth.

Girl : What is that my love ?

Smith: Am already married and have 3 kids....

Girl: (Pat him on the lap and hissed) You scared a Hell out of me... I thought you wanted to say this beautiful car is not yours....

Distance between Chandigarh and Delhi = 260 kms

Distance between Delhi and Chandigarh = 260 kms

Ground Floor to 15thFloor = 15 floors

15th Floor to Ground Floor = 15 floors

Monday to Friday = 5 days

Friday to Monday = 2 days

THIS IS CHEATING!!!!!!

A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.

"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.

She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"