|Elections 2019 in simple terms:|
No experience, no qualifications required.
No age limit.
Salary 1.9 lakhs per month even if not attending office.
Additional RS 2000 per day spent in office.
Free 3 telephones.
Free 25000 units electricity.
Free 4000 kilo litres water.
Free air travel 34 trips including family.
Unlimited train travel in first AC.
Minimum pension Rs 20,000 for just 5 years in service.
For every additional year RS. 1500 additional pension.
Plus lots of other benefits.
Selection starts 11 April, final list ready on 23 may.
|Singapore Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew, said there were two options for me:|
Either I get corrupted and I put my family in the Forbes list of the richest people in the world and leave my people with nothing.
I serve my country, my people and let my country be in the list of the best ten economies in the world.
I chose the second option.
Indian politicians (most) said there were two options for us too, but the second option was already taken by the Singapore Prime Minister.
|A journalist, who was fed up with the state of the Indian Economy, decided to ask the views of Finance Minister Arun Jaitley on sports instead of Indian economy.|
He asked, "Dear FM, which game do you like?"
FM replied, "Cricket when played in India."
Journalist further asked, "which part of Cricket do you like, I mean batting or bowling?"
Our great economist replied, "No, No, I LIKE THE TOSS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MATCH IN INDIA."
Journalist was amused and asked, "Why, only toss Sir?"
Jaitley smiled for the first time and told, "BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY TIME WHEN I SEE OUR RUPEE GOING UP."
|Michelle was a very bad driver. After an unfortunate mishap in a parking garage, she took her vehicle to an auto mechanic.|
Seeing that the young woman was quite blonde, the mechanic decided to have a little fun at Michelle's expense.
"We don't do bodywork at this shop, but I can tell you an easy way to fix the dents. Just blow really, really hard into the tail pipe, and it will pop 'em all out!"
She thanked him for his wonderful advice and went home to give it a try. After the tailpipe had cooled off, she opened her mouth really wide and placed her lips around the tube. She then started to blow as hard as she could. She kept huffing and blowing until she turned purple!
It was then that her husband came home and asked her, "What on earth do you think you're doing?!"
After explaining to her husband how she was trying to remove the dents from her car, he shook his head and said, "That will never work, dear. You forgot to roll up the windows."