• Time Zones are Confusing

    One of Russia's Ambassadors was having dinner with Putin and said that time zones around the world confused him.

    "Why?" Putin asks.

    "Ah, Mr. President, I called Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me it's tomorrow. I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it was yesterday."

    "Well, these are just minor inconveniences," Says Putin.

    "Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed with their President on board? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!"
  • Dream Job Openings

    Elections 2019 in simple terms:

    545 openings.

    No experience, no qualifications required.

    No age limit.

    Salary 1.9 lakhs per month even if not attending office.

    Additional RS 2000 per day spent in office.

    Free accommodation.

    Subsidized canteen.

    Free 3 telephones.

    Free 25000 units electricity.

    Free 4000 kilo litres water.

    Free air travel 34 trips including family.

    Free petrol.

    Unlimited train travel in first AC.

    Minimum pension Rs 20,000 for just 5 years in service.
    For every additional year RS. 1500 additional pension.

    Plus lots of other benefits.

    Apply soon.

    Selection starts 11 April, final list ready on 23 may.
  • Two Options

    Singapore Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew, said there were two options for me:

    Either I get corrupted and I put my family in the Forbes list of the richest people in the world and leave my people with nothing.

    OR

    I serve my country, my people and let my country be in the list of the best ten economies in the world.

    I chose the second option.


    Indian politicians (most) said there were two options for us too, but the second option was already taken by the Singapore Prime Minister.
  • FM's Favourite Sport

    A journalist, who was fed up with the state of the Indian Economy, decided to ask the views of Finance Minister Arun Jaitley on sports instead of Indian economy.

    He asked, "Dear FM, which game do you like?"

    FM replied, "Cricket when played in India."

    Journalist further asked, "which part of Cricket do you like, I mean batting or bowling?"

    Our great economist replied, "No, No, I LIKE THE TOSS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MATCH IN INDIA."

    Journalist was amused and asked, "Why, only toss Sir?"

    Jaitley smiled for the first time and told, "BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY TIME WHEN I SEE OUR RUPEE GOING UP."