News and Politics Jokes

A newly appointed health minister of a northern state whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary was on his first official visit to the largest hospital in the capital.

The Director of Medical Services took the minister round the operating theaters and general wards till they came to the women patients' section.

'This, sir, is the labour ward,' explained the director.

The minister stopped in his tracks and said firmly, 'I will not visit this ward. Don't you know we have a labour minister in the government? I must not trespass into his domain.'

A gentleman travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out.

The Karachi dentist said, "Surely you have dentist in Islamabad! You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth attended to."

"We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to open our mouths," replied the man with the aching tooth.

An American delegation on a visit to India were being shown round the capital. In the evening they were taken to the Secretariat for a panoramic view of Vijay Chowk and Rajpath. Came the closing hour and thousands upon thousands of clerks poured out of their offices. The place was crammed with bicycles and pedestrians.

'Who are all these people?' asked the leader of the American delegation.

'They are the common people of India; the real rulers of the country,' proudly replied the minister accompanying the visitors.

A few minutes later came a fleet of flag - bearing limousines escorted by pilots on motorcycles followed by jeeps full of armed policemen.

'And who are these?' asked the American.

'These are us,' replied the minister with the same pride, 'the servants of the people.'

Theek Hai - Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

It is a pro North Indian Budget - Shiv Sena spokesperson

I demand complete rollback of Union Budget - Mamta Banerjee

I will give 4.5 stars to Union Budget - Taran Adarsh

It is not good for middle class. I wished P Chidambaram had seen my shopping list - A middle class wife

The Union Budget is a blow to Modi - NTDV news anchor

I don't care; I have a boyfriend - a girl recently proposed by a boy on Valentine's day.

Though the budget is not good and is anti-poor but we support it to keep communal forces away from power - Mulayam Singh Yadav

It is a game changer - Rahul Gandhi

I knew this type of budget will come but when it will come I did not know - Home Minister Shusil Kumar Shinde

The budget is 90% idiot - Justice Katju

There is nothing in Union Budget for Marathi Manoos - MNS spokesperson

Beautiful Budget. Kiss to Chidu - KRK

It is a corrupt budget. It will not help in bringing back black money - Baba Ramdev

I will expose the budget - Arvind Kejriwaal

Just like 2G scam, it is a zero loss budget - Kapil Sibal

Thanks to Shri Rajeev Gandhi for the wonderful union budget - Congress spokesperson

We are planning to hold an internal debate between our PM candidates and will then react - BJP spokesperson

I did not listen to P Chidambaram as I was feeling nostalgic - President Pranab Mukherjee

It is an anti-dalit and a Manuwadi budget - Mayawati

Fundamentals of budget are strong. In long term stock market will give good returns - An Indian stock market analyst