News and Politics Jokes

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Election Results 2014 - Jokes & Trolls

Here are the funniest jokes on the election results, from the humorists of Twitter.

Alia Bhatt: Score itni jaldi-jaldi badh raha hai, Maxwell BJP mein hai kya?

There is a great Rahul Gandhi wave in the country... Everyone is waving him good bye.

Rahul Gandhi to Sonia: Accha, Ab main khelne jaoon?

BREAKING Performance of Himesh's 'The Xpose' better than Congress & AAP.

Now Arvindkejriwal says that Aam Janata has also become corrupt!!! Mr Kejriwal, Ramleela maidan is waiting for you to held DHARNA against Public for the mandate.

You know your country is changing when the youth is more excited about 16th may rather than 14th feb !!!

Now you know what a Gujarati can do for a Visa.

Kapil Sharma fired. Re-branded show to be launched - Comedy Nights with Rahul.

Tide and Rin have competition from the Congress. Itni zabardast dhulai hui hain.

Why was Rahul Gandhi smiling even in defeat? Coz every kid is happy when exams get over and they can go on a vacation.

Kejriwal ka naya aarop: Desh ki janta bhi Modi se mili hui hai.

Australia is now at #2 in whitewashing teams. #1 is BJP.

Now mothers will reprimand their kids in the following way.
Modi ban na hai na?
Phir Rahul wali harkat kyu ki?
Ab Manmohan ban ke kyu khada hai?
Bol ya toh Kejriwal ki tarah thappad khayega ?

Finally, the bizarre is over and here goes the awards for different category.
Best Actor: Arvind Kejriwal.
Best Debut child actor: Rahul Gandhi.
Best female actor in supporting role- Mamta Banerjee.
Best female actor in negative role- Sonia Gandhi.
Best actor in Romantic role- Digvijay Singh.
Life time achievement award-Lal Krishna Advani.
Movie of the year-Abki baar Modi Sarkar.
Its heard that Anurag Basu has approached Manmohan Singh for "Barfi 2"

Politician Riddles...

Q: What clothes does the politicians love to wear?
A: Poll-yester clothes.

Q: Which dance do politicians love?
A: The Poll dance!

Q: What's the politician's favourite sport?
A: Poll vault.

Q: Where do Politicians send their kids?
A: To Poll-y technique colleges.

Q: What's the politician's favourite game?
A; Poll-O!

Q: What's the politician's best loved virtue?
A: Poll-iteness!

Three Most Influential People !

God decided it was time to end the world, so he called together those whom he considered the three most influential people in the world. President of USA Barrack Obama, Chinese President Xi Jinping, and Prime Minister of India Manmohan Singh.

"The world will end," God told them. "You must go and tell the people."

Obama, made a live statement on TV, "I've good news and BAD news." he said. "The good news is that we have been right, there is a God. The bad news is that he is ending the world."

The second person, Xi Jinping sent out a worldwide message, "I've bad news and WORSE news," he said. "The bad news is that we have been wrong all along - there is a God. The worse news is that he is ending the world."

Third person, Manmohan Singh immediately calls up Sonia Gandhi and says, "I've good news and BETTER news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most influential people in the world. The better news is that we do not have to worry about how to stop Modi or Kejriwal from becoming PM."

RahulSpeaksToArnab Creates Buzz

Rahul - Arnab Interview at Times Now trending on FB and Twiiter...

Rahul and Arnab had well rehearsed the interview. The only problem was Arnab changed the sequence of questions.

This is like watching 2 different shows. Arnab's questions and Rahul's answers.

This show should be re-recorded with the Filmfare awards laughter track.

Rahul Gandhi has now said 'empowering women' more number of times than total women population of the country.

Kapil Sharma is going to sue Rahul Gandhi for being a threat to his career as a comedian.

Q: Price Rise...
A: Empower women.
Q: 2G
A: Empower women.
He needs to get married soon to understand about empowered women."

Update: Narendra Modi leading 1-0 after self goal by Rahul Gandhi.

After Rahul's Interview with Arnab, Kapil Sharma loses his job, from next weekend colors tv will telecast, "ROFL nights with Rahul"

If you missed, Rahul Gandhi interview with Arnab will be repeated on Pogo Channel !!!

Don't worry if you had a bad day, remember Rahul Gandhi had a so called interview with Arnab!

After RG's interview with interview, Congress realised why MMS remains quiet!

The similarly between Rahul Gandhi and Namo is that both inspire you to vote for the opposition!

A special show of Comedy with Kapil telecast on Times Now with special guest being RG!

Moral Victory for Congress: Rahul Gandhi's interview beat the TRP of NaMo's event at Mumbai. ~ Omar Abddullah on Twitter

Maybe the idea was to counter Modi Wave with Sympathy Wave for Rahul Gandhi.

Rahul Gandhi was behaving like Gutthi. Women-Party Party-Empowerment Empowerment-Youth Youth-RTI System-Women

Three little Indian boys in the election zoo; One gave an interview and then there were two.

We live in a country where we take our comedians seriously and our politicians as a joke.


Let today be the day you learn the grace of letting go and the power of moving on.


"Zoodles" are noodles made out of zucchini.


Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.