• I Haven't Finished...

    An angry senator was attacking a minister of government. The minister tried to interrupt the senator's speech.

    "I haven't finished yet," roared the senator, and went on in his near- defamatory tirade.

    Each time the minister tried to protest, the Senator yelled, "I haven't finished yet."

    At long last when the speech ended, the minister asked, "Have you finished now?"

    "Yes," replied the senator, taking his seat.

    "Then pull the chain."
  • First Official Visit!

    A newly appointed health minister of a northern state (guess which?) whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary was on his first official visit to the largest hospital in the Capital.

    The Director of Medical Services took the minister round the operating theatres and general wards till they came to the women patients' section.

    "This, sir, is the labour ward," explained the director.

    The minister stopped in his tracks and said firmly, "I will not visit this ward. Don't you know we have a labour minister in the government? I must not trespass into his domain."
  • Straight From the Barber's Shop

    President Zia-ul-Haq's trusted barber seemed to have become infected by the popular demand for the restoration of democracy. One morning while clipping the President's hair he asked, "Gareeb Pur war! When are you going to have elections in Pakistan?"

    The President ignored the question with the contempt it deserved from a military dictator.

    At the next hair-cutting session, the barber asked, "Aali jah! Isn't it time you redeemed your promise to hold elections?"

    The President controlled his temper and remained silent.

    On the third hair-clipping session, the barber again blurted out, "Banda Nawaz, the awam (commom people) are clamouring for elections, when will you order them?"

    The President could not contain himself anymore and exploded, "Gaddar! I will have you taught a lesson you will never forget."

    And ordered his minions to take away the barber and give him ten lashes on his buttocks."

    The barber fell at the great man's feet and whined, "Zill-e-Illahi (shadow of God), I eat your salt; how can I become a gaddar (traitor)? I only mentioned elections to make my job easier."

    "Every time I utter the word election, Your Excellency's hair stands on end and is much easier to clip."
  • Rulers and Servants!

    An American delegation on a visit to India were being shown round the capital. In the evening they were taken to the Secretariat for a panoramic view of Vijay Chowk and Rajpath. Came the closing hour and thousands upon thousands of clerks poured out of their offices. The place was crammed with bicycles and pedestrians.

    "Who are all these peoples?" asked the leader of the American delegation.

    "They are the common people of India; the real rulers of the country," proudly replied the minister accompanying the visitors.

    A few minutes later came a fleet of flag-bearing limousines escorted by pilots on motorcycles followed by jeeps full of armed policemen.

    "And who are these?" asked the American.

    "These are us," replied the minister with the same pride, "the servants of the people."
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