News and Politics Jokes

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Politician Riddles...

Q: What clothes does the politicians love to wear?
A: Poll-yester clothes.

Q: Which dance do politicians love?
A: The Poll dance!

Q: What's the politician's favourite sport?
A: Poll vault.

Q: Where do Politicians send their kids?
A: To Poll-y technique colleges.

Q: What's the politician's favourite game?
A; Poll-O!

Q: What's the politician's best loved virtue?
A: Poll-iteness!

Three Most Influential People !

God decided it was time to end the world, so he called together those whom he considered the three most influential people in the world. President of USA Barrack Obama, Chinese President Xi Jinping, and Prime Minister of India Manmohan Singh.

"The world will end," God told them. "You must go and tell the people."

Obama, made a live statement on TV, "I've good news and BAD news." he said. "The good news is that we have been right, there is a God. The bad news is that he is ending the world."

The second person, Xi Jinping sent out a worldwide message, "I've bad news and WORSE news," he said. "The bad news is that we have been wrong all along - there is a God. The worse news is that he is ending the world."

Third person, Manmohan Singh immediately calls up Sonia Gandhi and says, "I've good news and BETTER news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most influential people in the world. The better news is that we do not have to worry about how to stop Modi or Kejriwal from becoming PM."

RahulSpeaksToArnab Creates Buzz

Rahul - Arnab Interview at Times Now trending on FB and Twiiter...

Rahul and Arnab had well rehearsed the interview. The only problem was Arnab changed the sequence of questions.

This is like watching 2 different shows. Arnab's questions and Rahul's answers.

This show should be re-recorded with the Filmfare awards laughter track.

Rahul Gandhi has now said 'empowering women' more number of times than total women population of the country.

Kapil Sharma is going to sue Rahul Gandhi for being a threat to his career as a comedian.

Q: Price Rise...
A: Empower women.
Q: 2G
A: Empower women.
He needs to get married soon to understand about empowered women."

Update: Narendra Modi leading 1-0 after self goal by Rahul Gandhi.

After Rahul's Interview with Arnab, Kapil Sharma loses his job, from next weekend colors tv will telecast, "ROFL nights with Rahul"

If you missed, Rahul Gandhi interview with Arnab will be repeated on Pogo Channel !!!

Don't worry if you had a bad day, remember Rahul Gandhi had a so called interview with Arnab!

After RG's interview with interview, Congress realised why MMS remains quiet!

The similarly between Rahul Gandhi and Namo is that both inspire you to vote for the opposition!

A special show of Comedy with Kapil telecast on Times Now with special guest being RG!

Moral Victory for Congress: Rahul Gandhi's interview beat the TRP of NaMo's event at Mumbai. ~ Omar Abddullah on Twitter

Maybe the idea was to counter Modi Wave with Sympathy Wave for Rahul Gandhi.

Rahul Gandhi was behaving like Gutthi. Women-Party Party-Empowerment Empowerment-Youth Youth-RTI System-Women

Three little Indian boys in the election zoo; One gave an interview and then there were two.

We live in a country where we take our comedians seriously and our politicians as a joke.

Vote for Me

A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell. The party waiting behind her was a group of politicians.

A Congress man quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.

She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, "I'm the local MP and I hope you'll vote for me in the next General Elections."

She laughed and quickly said, "I fell on my ass, not my head!"

Quotes

Love is not about how many days, months or years you've been together. Love is about how much you love each other everyday.

Trivia

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as a medicine.

Graffiti

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.