• The career test:

    An old couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test.
    They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, and hid, pretending they`re not home.
    The father`s plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I`m afraid our son will be a drunkard." The father slapped his forehead, and said...

    "Darn... Our son is going to be a politician!"
  • About Penguins...

    A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water`s edge.
    Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match.
    Then, the paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly back to the penguin colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs."
  • Demand a recounting

    There was a political leader who was on the verge of being defeated in the elections. When he received a phone call saying that his wife had delivered triplets, he exclaimed: "Oh! I demand a recounting."
  • Caffeine Pollution...

    Seattle harbor is polluted. Not with crap, but with caffeine. Home to 12 billion Starbucks outlets, Seattle coffee addicts are pissing gallons of caffeine into the local waters at a alarming rate.
    In related news, an entire pod of killer whales have checked in to the Betty Ford Clinic, suffering from caffeine addiction