• Straight From the Barber's Shop

    President Zia-ul-Haq's trusted barber seemed to have become infected by the popular demand for the restoration of democracy. One morning while clipping the President's hair he asked, "Gareeb Pur war! When are you going to have elections in Pakistan?"

    The President ignored the question with the contempt it deserved from a military dictator.

    At the next hair-cutting session, the barber asked, "Aali jah! Isn't it time you redeemed your promise to hold elections?"

    The President controlled his temper and remained silent.

    On the third hair-clipping session, the barber again blurted out, "Banda Nawaz, the awam (commom people) are clamouring for elections, when will you order them?"

    The President could not contain himself anymore and exploded, "Gaddar! I will have you taught a lesson you will never forget."

    And ordered his minions to take away the barber and give him ten lashes on his buttocks."

    The barber fell at the great man's feet and whined, "Zill-e-Illahi (shadow of God), I eat your salt; how can I become a gaddar (traitor)? I only mentioned elections to make my job easier."

    "Every time I utter the word election, Your Excellency's hair stands on end and is much easier to clip."
  • Rulers and Servants!

    An American delegation on a visit to India were being shown round the capital. In the evening they were taken to the Secretariat for a panoramic view of Vijay Chowk and Rajpath. Came the closing hour and thousands upon thousands of clerks poured out of their offices. The place was crammed with bicycles and pedestrians.

    "Who are all these peoples?" asked the leader of the American delegation.

    "They are the common people of India; the real rulers of the country," proudly replied the minister accompanying the visitors.

    A few minutes later came a fleet of flag-bearing limousines escorted by pilots on motorcycles followed by jeeps full of armed policemen.

    "And who are these?" asked the American.

    "These are us," replied the minister with the same pride, "the servants of the people."
  • Election Results 2014 - Jokes & Trolls

    Here are the funniest jokes on the election results, from the humorists of Twitter.

    Alia Bhatt: Score itni jaldi-jaldi badh raha hai, Maxwell BJP mein hai kya?

    There is a great Rahul Gandhi wave in the country... Everyone is waving him good bye.

    Rahul Gandhi to Sonia: Accha, Ab main khelne jaoon?

    BREAKING Performance of Himesh's 'The Xpose' better than Congress & AAP.

    Now Arvindkejriwal says that Aam Janata has also become corrupt!!! Mr Kejriwal, Ramleela maidan is waiting for you to held DHARNA against Public for the mandate.

    You know your country is changing when the youth is more excited about 16th may rather than 14th feb !!!

    Now you know what a Gujarati can do for a Visa.

    Kapil Sharma fired. Re-branded show to be launched - Comedy Nights with Rahul.

    Tide and Rin have competition from the Congress. Itni zabardast dhulai hui hain.

    Why was Rahul Gandhi smiling even in defeat? Coz every kid is happy when exams get over and they can go on a vacation.

    Kejriwal ka naya aarop: Desh ki janta bhi Modi se mili hui hai.

    Australia is now at #2 in whitewashing teams. #1 is BJP.

    Now mothers will reprimand their kids in the following way.
    Modi ban na hai na?
    Phir Rahul wali harkat kyu ki?
    Ab Manmohan ban ke kyu khada hai?
    Bol ya toh Kejriwal ki tarah thappad khayega ?

    Finally, the bizarre is over and here goes the awards for different category.
    Best Actor: Arvind Kejriwal.
    Best Debut child actor: Rahul Gandhi.
    Best female actor in supporting role- Mamta Banerjee.
    Best female actor in negative role- Sonia Gandhi.
    Best actor in Romantic role- Digvijay Singh.
    Life time achievement award-Lal Krishna Advani.
    Movie of the year-Abki baar Modi Sarkar.
    Its heard that Anurag Basu has approached Manmohan Singh for "Barfi 2"
  • Politician Riddles...

    Q: What clothes does the politicians love to wear?
    A: Poll-yester clothes.

    Q: Which dance do politicians love?
    A: The Poll dance!

    Q: What's the politician's favourite sport?
    A: Poll vault.

    Q: Where do Politicians send their kids?
    A: To Poll-y technique colleges.

    Q: What's the politician's favourite game?
    A; Poll-O!

    Q: What's the politician's best loved virtue?
    A: Poll-iteness!
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