• The Curious Case of Vijay

    After lots of allegations and jokes, Vijay Mallya goes to SBI to repay the loan.. but see what happens:

    Monday
    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan...
    SBI: It's lunch time come after 1 hour...

    Tuesday:
    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan, so today I came early at 9.30...
    SBI: We are not open still, come after 11am...

    Wednesday:
    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan, I've come at 11 am like you asked me to...
    SBI: Monthend sir, today is too much rush... wait for some time or come after tea time.

    Thursday, (Comes at 2 pm):
    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan...
    SBI: Have you brought all the documents? Looks like two of your documents are missing... and I need a stamp from the other banks... come after doing it. We can't take your documents like that - it's a govt. bank, not private bank, right?

    Friday
    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan , I have come with all the documents.
    SBI: The designated person is on leave... come tomorrow...

    Saturday
    Vijay goes to Bank & surprised after seeing it closed, asks the watchman: Is the bank closed because of me?
    Watchman: Sir... today's 2nd Saturday come on Monday.

    Sunday
    Vijay leaves India... (Facts written & Scripted by a tired customer of so called banks)
  • If I Had Married Him

    One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.

    When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.
    After the conversation President Obama asked Michelle, "Why was he so interested in talking to you?"

    She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

    President Obama then said, "So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant?"

    Michelle responded, "No, if I had married him, he would now be the President."

    A WOMAN's CONFIDENCE NEVER COMES IN BITS & PIECES.
    Dedicated to all the beautiful and intelligent women
  • Bloody Neighbours!!!

    There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leads.

    Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing.

    To the best of my knowledge, she has never worked in her life.

    Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for his racist comments. A shopkeeper blamed him for arranging the murder of his son and his son's girl-friend, but nothing has ever been proved.

    All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay.

    Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. It is not known if they have the same father. They are both out of control.

    I hate living near Buckingham Palace!!!
  • Einstein's Attire

    Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work.

    "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there."

    When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit.

    "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"
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