• Let It Walk!

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.

    One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.

    He said, "If this church is to become better, it must take up it's bed, and walk."

    The congregation said, "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."

    Encouraged by their response, he went further.

    "If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it's hindrances and run!"

    The congregation replied, "Let it run, preacher, let it run!"

    Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.

    "If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it's wings and fly!"

    "Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!" the congregation shouts.

    The Preacher gets louder. "If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!"

    The congregation replied, "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."
  • Precious Memories

    A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

    He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."

    The pastor shouted out, "CROSS."

    Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

    The pastor hollered out, "GRACE."

    The congregation began to sing, "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

    The pastor said, "POWER."

    The congregation sang, "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The Pastor said, "SEX!"

    The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing, "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."
  • An Old Custom

    A young scholar from New York was invited to become Rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbat, a hot debate erupted as to whether one should or should not stand during the reading of the Ten Commandments.

    The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. `Mr. Katz, I'm asking you as the oldest member of the community"` said the rabbi, "what is our synagogue's custom during the reading of the Ten Commandments?"

    "Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.

    "Yesterday we read the Ten Commandments. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..." "That," said the old man, "is our custom."
  • Drink From The river

    During Sermon on a Sunday service, the Pastor said, "If I had all the Beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

    And the congregation cried, "Amen! "

    "And if I had all the Wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river."

    And the congregation cried: "Amen!"

    "And if I had all the Whiskey and Rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river."

    Again the congregation cried, "Amen!..."

    The Pastor sat down.

    The Junior Pastor then stood up and said, "For our closing Hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our Hymn books and sing, "We shall drink from the river."

    The whole Congregation SCREAMED *HALLELUJAH!*