• The Arguing Rabbis

    These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

    "Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

    It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved.

    "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!"

    But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

    So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!"

    This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.
    "I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes. The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a VERY big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"

    The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"

    "So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."
  • Do It Again...

    At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith.

    "I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and I had to either give it all to God's work or give nothing at all. So at that moment, I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today."

    When he finished and moved toward his seat, there was an awed silence.

    As he sat down, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said to him, "I dare you to do it again."
  • Good News & Bad News

    The pastor stood before his congregation on Sunday.

    With his arms outreached he announced, "Friends, I have good news and bad news regarding the money we need to fix the roof of our church."

    There was a slight murmur in the crowd as everyone was well aware of the pitiful condition of the roof.

    "The good news is," the pastor continued, "that after a careful review, I've been able to determine that we have enough money to properly repair the roof."

    As a jubilant titter filled the pews, the pastor raised his hands and motioned the group to settle down.

    "Of course there is a bit of bad news to go with it," he said as everyone hushed. "The money to fix the roof is still in your pockets!"
  • Become a Christian

    Two old Jewish men waking down the street and they see a sign in front of a church: Become a Christian today! Earn $100!

    So the one guy Abe, says, "100 bucks. hmmm. I think I'll do it. I could use the money."

    His friend Izzy says, "How could you do that ? You're a Jew. You been one all your life."

    Abe says, "So what. It's just a label. I'm doing it!"

    And he walks across the street and into the church. He returns 20 minutes later and Izzy says, "So did you do it?"

    Abe says, "Yup. I'm a Christian."

    And izzy asks, "Well did they give you the hundred dollars?"

    To which Abe shakes his head in disgust and says, "That's the trouble with you Jews. All you think about is money!"