• The Easter Bunny

    A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately The rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

    The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.

    The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

    A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

    "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

    The blonde says, "Don't worry."

    She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.

    The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

    Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

    The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

    The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

    It says...

    (Are you ready for this?)

    (Are you sure?)

    (Last chance)

    (Okay, here it is...)

    It says, "Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

    Happy Easter!!!
  • A Young Widow

    To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on some daily.

    One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago. After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms.

    He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Laffitte."

    "You've found her, Father." smiled the lady.

    "Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.

    "That's correct, Father. He surely did... but I didn't!"
  • Jesus' Wife

    An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

    She walked up to the group and with a big smile said, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?"



    They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, `Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

    One of the steelworkers asked, "Why?"

    The worker yelled, "His wife is here with his lunch."
  • Beer Shampoo

    Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"

    The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, Sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand."

    "I can handle that without a problem", the first nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.

    "We use beer for washing our hair" the first nun said, "back at The Nunnery, we call it Catholic Shampoo."

    Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer.

    He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, "The curlers are on the house."