• Hit Him Again!

    The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000."

    Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000."

    Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."

    He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!"

    This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"
  • Any Special Needs ?

    In a church one Sunday morning a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar."

    With that, Peter got in line and when it was his turn the Preacher asked, "Peter, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

    He replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

    The preacher put one finger of one hand on Peter's ear, placed his other hand on top of Peter's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm.

    After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Peter, how is your hearing now?"

    Peter answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the magistrate court."
  • Let It Walk!

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.

    One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.

    He said, "If this church is to become better, it must take up it's bed, and walk."

    The congregation said, "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."

    Encouraged by their response, he went further.

    "If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it's hindrances and run!"

    The congregation replied, "Let it run, preacher, let it run!"

    Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.

    "If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it's wings and fly!"

    "Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!" the congregation shouts.

    The Preacher gets louder. "If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!"

    The congregation replied, "Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk."
  • Precious Memories

    A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

    He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."

    The pastor shouted out, "CROSS."

    Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

    The pastor hollered out, "GRACE."

    The congregation began to sing, "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

    The pastor said, "POWER."

    The congregation sang, "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The Pastor said, "SEX!"

    The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing, "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."