• Whisky for Constipation

    A nun walks into a liquor store and asks for a bottle of whisky.

    The owner is shocked, "I'm sorry, Sister, but I'm a good church-going man. I simply can't sell liquor to a nun."

    The nun blushes a little, looks around nervously, then leans forward to whisper, "It's for Mother Superior's constipation."

    "Oh, well, that's a different story," the owner says.

    He wraps up a bottle of his best and hands it to her, waving away her attempt to pay for it.

    On his way home, he walks past the convent and sees the nun, drunk as a skunk, doing cartwheels on the lawn.

    He runs up to her, "Shame on you, Sister... how could you? You said the whisky was to help your Mother Superior's constipation!"

    "It will, it will," the nun mutters. "When she sees me, she's just going to shit!"
  • Apology!

    The lady was embarrassed and apologetic to the priest after church service was over, "Reverend, I hope you didn't take it personally, when my husband bluntly walked out of the room during your sermon."

    "Yes, I did find it rather disrespectful to the Lord," the angry preacher cursed.

    "Father, I assure you It was not a reflection on your religious intelligence and abilities." The wife persisted, "You see John has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
  • An Interfaith Miracle!

    I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

    The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"

    I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

    The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!

    He was not amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

    The Mullah came, took my hands and said, "Insha Allah, you will walk today!"

    I politely told him, "There's nothing wrong with me."

    The Hindu sadhu came and said, "Son, you will walk on your legs today."

    I said, "Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs"

    The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, "By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"

    I had to tell him there was nothing wrong with me.

    After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen. I believe in all Religions now...
  • Running Out Of Gas!

    Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.

    So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of petrol, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan.

    Sister Mary happily walked to the closest petrol station filled up the bedpan and headed back to her car.

    Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the petrol into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle.

    Just when she finished pouring in the last drops a fellow opened up his window and hollered, "I swear! If that car starts I'm becoming a monk!"