|One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He
stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and
then threw away his crutches.|
An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he`d just seen.
"Son, you`ve just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?"
"Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy.
|Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father
and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"|
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."
"I don`t mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I`ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
|The elderly minister was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a
small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. |
Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the minister asked her, "WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn`t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box.
The minister felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1."
|Thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick, jump out of the window.|
Fellow thief: But this is the 13th floor!
Thief: Hurry this is no time for superstitions.