SantaBanta Jokes

Santa was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the job center he was offered work at the local Zoo.

When he arrived for his first day, the keeper aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section.

Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Santa was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure.

"Where are the tortoises?" he asked him.

"I can't believe it," said Santa. "I just opened the door and then.....Whooooosh!"

Santa sets up Banta to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Banta is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Banta, "I'll be stuck with her all night."

"Don't worry." Santa says. "Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack."

So that night, Banta knocks at Shirleys door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Banta's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, "Aaauuuggghhh!"

Preeto went to see a psychiatrist about her husband Santa (he wouldn't go with her).

"Doctor, my husband has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!"

"My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..."

Preeto leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence, "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Santa sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!"

Banta tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off.

The weeks later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery.

"Oh good," Banta responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "if you promise to be careful."

"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," he sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time!"