SantaBanta Jokes

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The ATM!

Banta wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. In frustration Banta called his bank help line.

Banta, angrily: So what's wrong with my ATM card? Girl: Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and you should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken?

Banta: Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do.

Girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?

Banta: Are you mad? I take very good care of my card. As a matter of fact, I even got it laminated last week when I laminated my Identity card. Girl: Did you just said LAMINATE? Banta: Of course Yes!!!

Need a Break!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office....

When my co-worker, Santa followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"

Santa replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"

Ear to the Ground!

A busload of American tourists were heading towards Punjab on G.T. Road when suddenly the driver slammed on the brakes. Lying on the road in front was Santa with his ear to the ground. Passengers trooped out of the bus and crowded around him.

"Hey, what are you doing down there pal?" asked one of the tourists.

Santa slowly raised his head and replied, "Green Matador 25 km away travelling at 80 km."

"Wow," exclaimed the tourist, "You can tell us that by listening to the road?"

"No," croaked Santa, "I fell off the damned thing."

Mouse Trap!

Santa: I am in big trouble!

Banta: What happened?

Santa: I saw a rat in my house!

Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.

Santa: I don't have one.

Banta: Well then, buy one.

Santa: I can't afford one.

Banta: I can give you mine if you want.

Santa: That sounds good.

Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the rat come to the trap.

Santa: I don't have any cheese.

Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.

Santa: I don't have oil.

Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.

Santa: I don't have bread.

Banta: Then what the hell is the rat doing in your house?

Quotes

We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it.

Trivia

Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors.

Graffiti

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast and cheap.