• Diet Meal Plan

    Jeeto was very fat. She weighed 100 kilos, and she was getting heavier every month, so she went to see her doctor.

    He said, "You need a diet, Jeeto, and I've got a good one here."

    He gave her a small book and said, "Read this carefully and eat the things on page 21 every day. Then come back and see me in two weeks time."

    Jeeto came again two weeks later, but she wasn't thinner, she was fatter. The doctor was surprised and said, "Are you eating the things on page 21 of the small book?"

    "Yes, doctor," she answered.

    The next day the doctor visited Jeeto during her dinner. She was very surprised to see him.

    "Jeeto ," he said, "Why are you eating potatoes and bread? They aren't in your diet."

    "But, doctor," Jeeto answered, "I ate my diet at lunch time, This is my dinner."
  • Diet for Weight Loss

    Needing to shed a few kilos, Santa and Jeeto, went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. They followed the instructions extremely closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for their individual portions.

    They felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful; they had never felt better, nor did they ever feel hungry.

    As time progressed, Santa and Jeeto realized that they were, in fact, putting on weight and not losing it. They decided that they ought to check the detail of the recipes just one more time. It was then that they found their error.

    There, in small print, Santa and Jeeto saw, to their horror: 'Serves 6'
  • Scientists' Reunion

    Greatest scientists of all times were invited to a reunion...

    Isaac Newton said he'd drop in.

    Socrates said he'd think about it.

    Georg Ohm resisted the idea.

    Robert Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

    Charles Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.

    Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.

    Alessandro Volta was electrified at the prospect.

    Ivan Pavlov positively drooled at the thought.

    Andre-Marie Ampere was worried he wasn't current.

    John James Audubon said he'd have to wing it.

    Thomas Edison thought it would be illuminating.

    Albert Einstein said it would be relatively easy to attend.

    Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.

    Dr Jekyll declined - he said he hadn't been feeling himself lately.

    Samuel Morse said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

    Carl Friedrich Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetism.

    Heinrich Hertz said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.

    James Watt thought it would be a good way to let off steam.

    Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.

    And Dr. Sigmund Freud couldn't help but give it the slip!
  • Most Careless!

    A Bihari, a Bengali and our Santa were arguing on the hospital ward who was the most careless.

    The Bihari guy said, "I'm the most careless, this morning I ramped a pavement and went head on into a wall, totally writing my car off, and now I have to wear this neck brace."

    "Wow that is careless." Said the Bengali guy, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I drove straight through a red light and into the side of a van. My car is a write off and I've fractured my shoulder."

    "That is careless." Said Santa, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I took a corner too fast, spiraled out of control, went straight into a lamppost and broke both of my legs."

    "That is careless." Said the Bihari guy, "But what happened to your car?"

    "Car!!! What car?" Replied Santa, "I was walking."