• Out of Court Settlement

    Santa and the local priest were always fighting and arguing, and eventually they finished up in court.

    After listening to evidence from bath sides, the magistrate said, "I feel sure that this can be settled amicably. Shake hands with each other, and say something for good will."

    The priest shook Santa's hand and said, "I wish for you what you wish for me."

    "See, Your Honour," said Santa. "HE'S STARTING AGAIN."
  • The Bar Bet!

    I found myself in a pub in Patiala and a group of American tourists came in.

    One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Punjabis think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes."

    The bar was silent, the American noticed Santa leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later Santa who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?"

    "Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000."

    "Great...," replied Santa, "so pour the whisky and start the clock."

    It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.

    "OK Yank, pay up." said Santa.

    "I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?"

    "Well sir," replied Santa, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !
  • A Very Touching Story...

    Once upon a time a small boy named Hameed lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him, "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!"

    One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career. The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that schoo. she even shifted to another city.

    25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform. Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful. When she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died.

    The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Hameed working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner.

    Don't tell me you were thinking that Hameed became a doctor...
  • Wet Dreams!

    Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.

    "Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.

    "Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee'."

    "OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."

    Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"

    "Yes, I did."

    "Did it help?"

    "No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."

    "How?"

    "As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"
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