Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table with a Frenchman.
At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!"
Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated.
"Bon appetit," said the Frenchman.
"Santa Ji," replied Santa.
After this had happened at every meal for three days, Santa was getting fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it.
"He tells me his name is Bon Appetit and I tell him my name is Santa, and then at the next meal, we start all over again."
The fellow traveller laughed and explained to Santa that the Frenchman was not introducing himself and that 'Bon appetit' meant "Good appetite", or "I hope that you enjoy your meal!"
Santa breathed a sigh of relief on receiving this information. Next morning, at breakfast, Santa greeted the Frenchman, "Bon appetite."
The Frenchman nodded politely and said, "Santa Ji."
Banta wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. In frustration Banta called his bank help line.
Banta, angrily: So what's wrong with my ATM card? Girl: Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and you should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken?
Banta: Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do.
Girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?
Banta: Are you mad? I take very good care of my card. As a matter of fact, I even got it laminated last week when I laminated my Identity card. Girl: Did you just said LAMINATE? Banta: Of course Yes!!!
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office....
When my co-worker, Santa followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"
Santa replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"
A busload of American tourists were heading towards Punjab on G.T. Road when suddenly the driver slammed on the brakes. Lying on the road in front was Santa with his ear to the ground. Passengers trooped out of the bus and crowded around him.
"Hey, what are you doing down there pal?" asked one of the tourists.
Santa slowly raised his head and replied, "Green Matador 25 km away travelling at 80 km."
"Wow," exclaimed the tourist, "You can tell us that by listening to the road?"
"No," croaked Santa, "I fell off the damned thing."