• Santa Banta Jokes

    Santa Apni Marriage Anniversary Wale Din Apne Ghar Ke Bahar Udaas Sa Baitha Tha, Banta Ne Ye Dekha Aur Uske Paas Aakar Puchha.
    Banta: Oye Bahar Kyu Baitha Hai?
    Santa: Yaar Aaj Marriage Anniversary Thi To Mene Wife Ko Gift Mein Chain Di Aur Usne Mujhe Ghar Se Bahar Nikal Diya.
    Banta: Kyu? Chain Chandi Ki Laya Tha Kya?
    Santa: Nahi, Cycle Ki.

    Santa And Banta Jungle Mein Ghumne Gaye, Saamne Se Ek Sher Aa Gaya.
    Banta Ne Sher Ki Aakhon Main Mitti Phenki, Aur Santa Ko Chilla Kar Bola: Oye Baag Jaldi Se.
    Santa: Main Kyun Bhaagu, Mitti To Tune Phenki Hai.

    Bant Bhagwan Ki Tapasyaa Karna Shuru Kari. Kafi Time Ke Baad Bhagwan Ji Uski Tapasya Se Khush Hokar Prakat Hue Aur Bole.
    Bhagwan: Var Maango Vats.
    Aadmi Sharmate Hue Bola: Prabhu, Aap Jaisa Soch Rahe Ho Main Vesa Nahi Hu, Mujhe To Vadhu Chahiye.

    Teacher To Student: Beta, Answer Sheet Par Sabse Pehale Kya Likhna Chahiye?
    Student: Iss Sheet Par Likhe Gaye Answer Kalpanik Hai, Jinka Kisi Bhi Book Se Koi Sambhandh Nahi Hai.

    Pappu Ek Bar Apni Girlfriend Ko Milne Gaya To Uski Girlfriend Ne Kuch Sungh Kar Kaha.
    Girlfriend: Aapne Muli Ke Paranthe Khaye Hai?
    Pappu: Nahi Nahi, Main To Sandwich Kha Ke Aya Hun.
    Girlfriend: Dont Try To Lie, I Know Lips Can Lie But Hips Dont Lie.

    Santa Ne Ek Bar Bazar Mein Amrood Khareeda Aur Khane Laga. Achanak Usne Dekha Ki Amarood Bich Mein Ek Keeda Hai.
    Santa Gusse Se: Abe Oye, Tere Amrood Mein Se Toh Kida Nikla Hai.
    Amrood Wale Ne Kuch Socha Aur Phir Bola: Bhai, Apni Apni Kismat Hai, Kya Pata Agle Amrood Mein Se Motorcycle Nikal Aaye.
    Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Khush Hoke Bola: Achcha, Chal Fir 5 Killo Pack Kar De.

    Circus Ka Malik Santa Ko Dante Hue Bola.
    Malik: Be Parwai Ki Bhi Koi Hadd Hoti Hai Tune Raat Ko Sher Ko Khula Chod Diya Thha?
    Santa Hairan Hote Hue: Iss Se Kya Farq Padta Hai Sher Ko Koun Chori Karega.
  • Faulty Refrigerator Advice

    A man calls a refrigerator repair service.

    "My refrigerator isn't working."

    "What kind is it?"

    "It's a small one."

    "Electric, gas or propane?"

    "Propane."

    "Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don't need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well."

    Second call, a few minutes later, "The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!"
  • That's not an Aquarium

    A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool.

    They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool's bottom.

    That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel's elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.

    When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, "That's not an aquarium... that's the swimming pool!"
  • Wedding Gift!!!

    Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said, "Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for your wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but I have to fulfill your wish regardless. Here's the packet of Four Underwear you asked for."

    The groom was startled, then looked at his message again... In a rage, he smashed his iPhone on the floor...

    "Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be *Ford Endeavour*'!!"
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