Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper. You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in "The Villages", a Florida newspaper.
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
Santa and Banta decided to rob a bank but during the process of the robbery they mess it up, but they do managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
They do manage to take one sack each.
After a while they meet again and one asks the other...
Santa: What did you find in your sack?
Banta: Ten lakh Rupees!
Santa: Wow... that's a lot of money!' What did you do with the cash?
Banta: I bought a house. How about your sack?
Santa: It was full of bills.
Banta: And what did you do with them?
Santa: Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...
Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview.
"One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss.
"Yes sir," Banta replied promptly.
The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!"
Banta had been arrested and was now up before the judge.
The judge asks, "Do you admit you broke into the same clothes shop 3 times?"
"Yes," replies Banta.
"Could you please tell the court what you stole." asks the judge.
"I stole a dress, your honour," replies Banta.
"Just one dress? But you admitted to breaking in 3 times," says the judge.
"Yes I did, your honour," says Banta, "but on two of those occasions, I broke in to return the dress I took before."
"Return the dress? Why? I don't understand," says the judge.
"Because my wife Preeto didn't like the design, your honour."