• His and Her Diary

    Wife's Diary:
    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

    I asked him what was wrong; He said, "nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

    On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
    When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

    Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
    My life is a disaster.

    Husband's Diary, same day:
    A two-foot putt... Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?
  • Helping Hand

    A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand.

    The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can't even hold a pen."

    "Certainly sir," said the younger man, "I'd be glad to."

    He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"

    The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, 'P.S.: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.'"
  • In continuation of what Rishi Kapoor said...

    Dear Jovial John,
    Welcome Home !

    Get off at Indira Gandhi International airport. Tell the driver to take Mahatma Gandhi road and turn left on Nehru road.

    As you come to Jawahar Chowk, take a right from the signal at Indira Gandhi Pratishthan. The road will take you straight to Rajiv Gandhi Sabhagrih from where you can come to Moti Lal Nehru park...

    Exactly opposite that is the Kamla Nehru Kreeda Kendra, which is facing Sanjay Gandhi Memorial building.

    Just a little ahead you will find Vijaya Laxmi Pandit library. I am opposite that -in the Society named Indira Awaas.

    If you lose your way just ask the Congress Party office at the turning of Sanjay Gandhi Memorial and they will guide you to my building-Indira Awaas...!!
  • Drinking Problem!

    Pappu goes up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I have a drinking problem. I need help."

    Jeeto, of course, freaks out and yells, "How did this happen?!"

    She turns to her husband and says, "This is all your fault! You're the one that comes home drunk and gives such a bad example to all of our children."

    Santa yells back, "Oh, I'm the one that does it? I do nothing but give to this family! Your the one that was drinking beer while breast feeding when I told you not to!"

    Jeeto yells, "Get out! You are a horrible person and I never want to see you again!"

    He grabs his collection of stuff and yells, "Fine! I don't need you!" and he walks out of the door.

    Pappu is standing there crying, not knowing what to think of the situation other than he knows his dad is gone.

    Jeeto turns to him and says, "Don't cry Pappu, it will be fine... Now just tell me all about your drinking problem and we will get you some help."

    Pappu says, "Well... the problem is, if Simar drinks 675 ml of orange juice, Pinky drinks 545 ml, and Manu drinks 860 ml, how much orange juice did they drink?"
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