|Santa got up one Saturday morning with the odd feeling that something about this day was to be different. Something unusual was about to happen. He glanced out the window at the thermometer: 33 degrees. He went downstairs - the clock had stopped at 3 o`clock. He picked up the newspaper and read the date: the 3rd of the month.|
Threes - that was it! Santa grabbed the paper and flipped it open to the racing section. Sure enough in the 3rd race, there was a horse named Trio! Santa hurried to the bank, drew out his life savings and bet it all on the horse to win.
The horse ran third.
|Jeeto came running up to Santa jumping for joy.|
Not knowing how to react, Santa started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so happy?" Santa asked.
Jeeto, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you`re so happy about."
Jeeto stopped breathless from all the jumping up and down. "I`m pregnant!" she gasped.
Santa was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. Santa grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn`t be happier.
Then Jeeto said "Oh, honey there`s more."
"What do you mean more?", he asked.
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
"It was easy" she said, "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
|Santa buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.|
Santa says, "I want my 10 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn`t work that way. We give you a million today and then you`ll get the rest spread out for the next 9 years."
Santa said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 9 years.
Santa, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you`re not going to give me my 10 million right now, then I want my Rs 100 back!"
|A army trainer was teaching his recruits about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.|
Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then Santa in the back eagerly raised his hand.
"Yes Santa, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?"
Santa replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why`s that Santa ?"
"Well," answered Santa, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked trainer impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"