|Santa comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor`s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and Santa panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor`s house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.|
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks Santa, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?".
Santa stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. um.. what happened?".
The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"
|One day Santa went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. Santa kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his!|
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can`t talk!"
"Don`t worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
|Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he`d give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.|
The next night the same scenario occurred. All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversations." Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour,
"My husband spends his nights calling to owls," she said.
"That`s odd," the neighbour replied. "So does my husband."
|There were three guys including Santa, talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they had over their wives, while Santa remained quiet.|
After a while one of the first two turns to Santa and says: "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
Santa says: "I`ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed.
"What happened then?" they asked. "Well," Santa said, "she told me to `get out from under the bed and fight like a man`."