• That`s Disgusting

    Santa observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
    Santa: "What`s your `Unique Breakfast?`"
    Waitress"Baked tongue of chicken."
    Santa: "Baked tongue of chicken?... Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken`s mouth!"
    Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?"
    "Just bring me scrambled eggs," the man replied.
  • Organic Vegetables

    Santa and Banta were talking one day.
    "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the produce market." said Santa.
    "So were you able to find some?" asked Banta.
    "Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, `These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
    "The gardener said `No, you`ll have to do that yourself.`"
  • Flying Banta !!

    Banta went to helicopter flight training, wanting to learn to fly that day. The owner agreed to him up, and instruct him by radio. He showed him the start up, and basic procedures, and up he went. At 1000 feet, Banta radioed, "I`m doing great! I love it! I`m really getting the hang of it!"
    The instructor watched him climb to over 3000 feet, then watched in horror as the helicopter began a dive and crashed nearby. He ran over and pulled him from the wreck, asking, "What happened?"
    He said, "I don`t know! Everything was going fine, until I got cold and turned off that big fan."
  • Doctor`s advice !

    Santa, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke his leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned him not to climb any stairs. Two months later, the doctor took off the cast.
    "Can I climb stairs now?" asked Santa.
    "Yes," he replied.
    "Thank goodness!" Santa said, "I`m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"