|A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, our Santa, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.|
A little later Santa came out of his house again,looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here Santa came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him, "Is something wrong Santa ji?"
To which Santa replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail !!"
|Santa and Banta were discussing how they would like to die.|
Santa said, "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I dont want to die screaming like some of his friends, who also died at the same time."
Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"
Santa replied, "His friends were the passengers in the car he was driving."
|There was an english man, who was singing "There was a cold day", whilst having a shit in cinema toilets.|
Our Banta walks by and hears him singing "There was a cold day, There was a cold day" he slam`s the door wide open.
The englishman in a shock say`s, "What the bloody hell are u doin ?"
Banta replied, "Oh, sorry ! I thought you ar saying, darwaza khol deyh (open the door)."
|This was when Santa was a little boy studying in a convent school.
He was busy doing his homework and as his mother approached she heard: "One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two... Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four... Three and three...|
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.
Santa remarked that his teacher had taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into little Santa`s classroom and confronted the teacher. She told her about Santa`s different way of doing math and his claims that she taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn`t understand why Santa had said what he did.
Then suddenly, she exclaimed, "Oh, I know... here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two..."