• Jesus...

    Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was Santa, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
    When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
    The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him."
    The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question.
    He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."
    Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally Santa arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question.
    He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
    The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
    When Santa arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?".
    Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I`m already investigating a murder".
  • Examination...

    Santa is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
    "Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour, but yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."
  • Hurts to touch!

    Hurts to touch!
    Santa went to a doctor and said, "Doctor, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts"
    The doctor asked Santa to touch his elbow. Santa touched his elbow and winced in genuine pain.
    The doctor was surprised and asked Santa to touch his head. Santa touched his head and jumped in agony.
    The doctor asked him to touch his knee and the same thing happened. Everywhere Santa touched, it hurt like hell.
    The doctor was stumped and ordered an complete examination with X-rays, etc and told Santa to come back after two days.
    Santa came back two days later and the doctor said," We have found your problem."
    "Oh yes? What is it?" asked Santa.
    "You have broken your finger!" replied the doctor.
  • Jurassic Park!

    Jurassic Park!
    Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat.
    Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, "Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai." (Why, what`s the matter? Why are you afraid? It s only a film.)
    Banta replied, "AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!" (I am human and have a mind, I know it s a film...but that is an animal, what does it know!)