• Jack & Jill by Shashi Tharoor

    Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance.

    The purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.

    One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.



    -- Shashi Tharoor's version of the nursery rhyme: Jack and Jill went up the Hill ........
  • The Last Night of Peace

    Chap goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. Barman serves him. Man drinks it orders another. This goes on for a while, until the chap begins to slow down.

    Barman asks, "Is there anything the matter, sir?"

    Chap replies, "I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won't speak to me for a month. I have to sleep on the sofa."

    Barman says, "Best bet is to stop drinking, go home, and don't let this argument carry on passed the first night. Nip it in the bud."

    Chap says, "You don't understand. This is the last night."
  • Magical Statue

    One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing. He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it, and so he did.

    The guy walked out of the store, carrying the statue in his arms. Suddenly some rats started following him.

    He shrugged it off, and continued on his way.

    As he walked along, more and more rats started following him, until all the rats in the city were behind him. He suddenly realized that it was the statue that was doing this.

    He headed towards the bay that resided next to the city, and threw the statue in. The rats followed, not caring about their immediate deaths.

    The guy ran back to the store, and when he reached it, the store owner said, "No refunds."

    The guy shook his head, and said, "No, no, I was wondering if you had any statues like the one I bought, only, shaped like a politician."
  • How Tall are Penguins?

    Santa walks into a bar. He asks the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"

    The barman says about three feet.

    Santa, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!"

    The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that."

    .
    .
    .
    .
    Santa, "Oh shit, in that case I just drove over a nun."