• The Perfect Dress

    Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Her parents divorced, but that never stopped her from wanting to get married. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear. A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother. Jennifer asked her stepmother to exchange it, but she refused.

    "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress and I'm wearing it," she replied.

    Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

    A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

    Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner, the night before the wedding."
  • Dating a Hairy Woman?

    Two Italian friends are talking to each other one evening.

    Roberto says, "Tell me Geno, in all honesty, what do you think of a woman with a growth of black hair under her nose?"

    Geno replies, "Hell no, I would never be turned on by a woman like that."

    Roberto says, "OK, so tell me, what about a woman with big black hairs growing under her arms?"

    Geno says, "For Pete's sake what are you talking about? I couldn't even have anything to do with a woman like that."

    Roberto says, "OK but let me ask you another question. What about a woman with long black hairs growing on her legs, never shaves her legs?"

    Geno replies, "Come on man give me a break, I would never get into bed with a woman like that."

    Roberto says, "OK so answer me one last question, if all you say is true, why the hell are you seeing my wife?!!!"
  • Lost In The Woods

    After spending several hours wandering through the woods, Santa and Banta are thoroughly lost. Disorientated, they sit down to discuss what to do next.

    "Hey, I have an idea," says Santa. "If we each fire three shots into the air, someone will hear them and come to help us."

    Banta agrees, so each of them fires their shots. An hour later, nobody has come to help, so they decide to fire three more shots. Another hour passes - still no one.

    "Okay lets try this one more time" says Santa.

    "Yaar Santa, this had better work," replies Banta. "These are our last arrows."
  • Taking Sick Leave

    Story from an IT guy...
    I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off.

    So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker, Santa, asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

    A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?"

    I told him I was a light bulb.

    He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

    I jumped down and walked out of the office.

    When Santa followed me, the Boss asked him, "... And where do you think you're going?"

    Santa said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."
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