• The Hot Stock

    A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found Bob.

    "I think this one will really move," said the broker. "It's only $1 a share."

    "Buy me 1000 shares," said Bob.

    The next day the stock was at $2.

    Bob called the broker and said, "You were right, get me another 5000 shares."

    The next day when Bob checked in the paper, the stock was at $4! He ran to the phone and called the broker, "Get me 10000 more shares!"

    "Great!" said the broker.

    The next day Bob looked in the paper and the stock was now selling for $10 a share! With all his purchases, Bob had made over $100,000 in just 4 days! Excited, Bob called the broker and said, "Sell all my shares! I want to cash out."

    The broker replied, "I would, but to whom? You were the only one buying that stock."
  • At Peace With God

    An 80-year old Bava goes for a medical check- up. All of his tests come with normal results.

    Dr Khambatta says, "Sohrabji, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with Ahura Mazda (Parsi God) ?"

    Sohrabji replies, "Ahura Mazda and me are very close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it such that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom for pee - poof! - the light goes on. When I'm done, poof! - the light goes off."

    "Wow, that's incredible," Dr Khambatta says.

    A little later in the day, after thinking at length over Sohrabji's extraordinary explanation, Dr Khambatta calls Sohrabji's wife.

    "Roshan," he says, "Sohrabji is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with Ahura Mazda. Is it true that when he gets up during the night - poof - the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done - poof! The light goes off ???"

    "Marigyo muo," Roshan exclaims loudly, "He's pissing in the fridge again."
  • Life Insurance Beneficiary

    Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency.

    During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today for a million dollars, and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?"

    The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably a life sentence."
  • Job Interview

    I went on a job interview the other day. I wasn't really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very excited when I was called in for an interview.

    At the interview, the prospective employer asked a few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments, as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my resume. He looked up at me and said, "We have an opening for someone like you."

    "Really?" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"

    "It's called the door."