• Santa in ICU

    A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

    Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."

    The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."

    This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."

    Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."

    Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."

    Replied the other, "Santa."

    A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."

    Santa responded, "Sagittarius."
  • A round of drinks

    Banta was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Banta, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

    "Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.

    He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because I bought something for the house."

    Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"

    Banta's answer was, "A round of drinks!"
  • My Friend Circle

    Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Jeeto, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

    "Was it my friend Banta", he demanded.

    "No !" his weeping wife replied.

    "Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked.

    "No !!!" she said even more upset.

    "Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

    "Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" Jeeto snapped.
  • Crazy Wisdom

    Santa is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Santa is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Santa was keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.

    Santa is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing.

    "Hey! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the other three wheels? That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or something."

    Santa is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident.

    Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. "You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?"

    The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy, not because I'm stupid."
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