• Waiting for a Train

    Banta is lying across the rail tracks with a bottle of Whisky and a tandoori chicken within reach.

    A passerby asks, "Banta ji, why are you lying on the rail lines? A train may comee any moment and run over you."

    "Precisely!" answers Banta. "I have no desire to live any longer. I want to kill myself."

    "Then why have you this bottle of liquor and the tandoori chicken beside you?"

    "Why not?" demands Banta. "You can't rely on trains running on time any more. You don't expect me to die of hunger and thirst, do you?"
  • Thoughtful Santa

    Santa was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife, Jeeto had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.
    He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
    The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."
    "Why did you make her so good looking?"
    "So you could love her, my son."
    "Why did you make her such a good cook?"
    "So you could love her, my son."
    Santa thought about this. Then he said, "I don`t mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but why did you make her so stupid?"
    "So she could love you, my son."
  • Half-Sister !!

    One Sunday morning Santa`s son burst into the living room and said, "Dad, Mom, I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Priya.
    After dinner, Santa took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She`s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Priya is actually your half-sister, and I`m afraid you can`t marry her."
    Son was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Sonu said yes! We are getting married in June."
    Again Santa insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Sonu is your half-sister too, I am very sorry about this."
    Son was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother, Jeeto, with the news.
    "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I am never going to get married", he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."
    Jeeto just shook her head. "Don`t pay any attention to what he says, dear. He`s not really your father."
  • Slow down

    A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
    The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
    "Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration."
    Banta replies, "Not until you tell me what the heck I did wrong, Officer."
    The officer explain, "You didn`t come to a complete stop at the stop sign a few blocks back."
    "Let me guess," said Banta, "all the wine shops are closed today!"
    "Sir, I`m going to overlook that last comment. Now, if you would please show me your license and registration."
    Banta counters, "Not until you tell me the difference between slowing down and coming to a complete stop."
    "Sir, step out of the car."
    As Banta reluctantly gets out of his car, the officer begins beating him over the head with his nightstick and exclaims, "Now, sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop!"