• You`re Warm

    Santa was talking to his fiancee, Jeeto, and he said, "Be honest, how am I as a lover?"
    To which Jeeto replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you`re warm."
    "Really?" Santa said excitedly.
    "Yes, in fact I would say that you`re the dictionary definition of the word `warm`."
    Santa was pleased until he went home and, just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
  • Hit it hard !

    An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. So he picked out Santa to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting.
    "Don`t ask me a lot of questions," he told Santa. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."
    One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.
    "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
    Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
  • Punch me

    Santa and Banta are at work, digging a hole. Banta asks Santa other, "Why is that guy up there sitting under the tree while we do all the work?"
    Santa said that he doesn`t know, so he goes up and asks him why.
    The guy under the tree says, "Because I have intelligence."
    Santa says, "What`s that?"
    So the guy under the tree stands up and says, "Punch me as hard as you can."
    Santa winds up and punches him, but the intelligent guy moves away and the digger punches the tree. His hand is now killing him.
    Santa says, "Oh, I think I know what it is now."
    He goes back down to Banta.
    Banta asks, "So why are we doing all the work?"
    Santa replies, "Because he has intelligence."
    Banta says, "What`s that."
    Santa looks around for a tree, but doesn`t see one, so he puts his hand in front of his face and says, "Punch my hand as hard as you can."
  • Unfaithful

    Banta wanted to determine if both his wife, Preeto and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other`s behavior.
    When his wife, Preeto, returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress.
    "She slept with nearly every man on the ship," Preeeto reported.
    Disheartened Banta then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife Preeto.
    "She was a real lady," his mistress said.
    "How so?" encouraged Banta asked.
    "She came on board with her husband and never left his side."