|"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked her father Santa.|
It was a moment for which Santa and Jeeto had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly.
"Does that answer your question?" Santa asked.
"Not really," the little girl said. "Dolly said she came from Delhi. I want to know where I came from."
|Santa and his girlfriend were out driving one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling.|
Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Can you drive using only one hand ?"
"I sure can", Santa grinned, thinking his luck was in.
"Good", she said, "then wipe your nose; it`s running
|Jeeto: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"|
Santa: "Definitely not!"
Jeeto: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
Santa: "Of course I do."
Jeeto: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
Santa: "Okay, I'd get married again."
Jeeto: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
Santa: (makes audible groan).
Jeeto: 'Would you live in our house?'
Santa: 'Sure, it's a great house.'
Jeeto: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'
Santa: 'Where else would we sleep?'
Jeeto: 'Would you let her drive my car?'
Santa: 'Probably, it is almost new.'
Jeeto: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'
Santa: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'
Jeeto: 'Would you give her my jewellry?'
Santa: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'
Jeeto: 'Would she wear my shoes?'
Santa: 'No, her size is 6.'
|Santa leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. A mile down the road, he`s stopped by a police officer.|
The officer walked up to the driver`s side window holding a Breathalyzer and said, "Good evening sir. We`re testing for drunk driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"
Santa replied, "I`m sorry, I can`t do that. I have asthma. If I blow in that machine, I will get out of air."
"In that case, I`m going to have to ask you to come back to the station for a blood test."
Santa said, "I can`t do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death".
The officer said, `Then you`ll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line." "Can`t do that either," said Santa The officer was getting irritated. "And why not?" "Because I`m dead drunk."