• Santa in Chandigarh

    Santa was visiting Chandigarh for the first time. He wanted to see the Rock Garden.

    Unfortunately, he couldn't find it, so he asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Rock Garden?"

    The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. It'll take you right there."

    He thanked the officer and the officer drove off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, Santa is still waiting at the same bus stop.

    The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Rock Garden, I said to wait here for the number 46 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

    Santa replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 43rd bus just went by!"
  • Body odor

    It was a really hot day at the office. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.
    All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelt.
    One man said, "Uh oh, someone's deodorant isn't working."
    Santa from the distant corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any."
  • Fishing

    Santa was walking through Rose Garden in Chandigarh and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. "Tsk Tsk!" said Santa to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help."
    So he walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"
    "Fishing, sir."
    "Fishing, well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"
    The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of Scotch, snacks and a fine cigar.
    Santa felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?"
    The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the fourth today, sir!"
  • Speech Impediment

    Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
    "Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
    "Well," said Santa, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
    "It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied Banta.
    "What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa, "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
    "Well," replied Banta, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"