• Pole Length

    A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.

    Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

    Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."

    The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.

    Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!
  • Drowsy Santa

    At night someone knocks on the door. Jeeto wakes up and asks:

    "Santa, is that you?"

    Silence. She returns to bed. Again a knock.

    "Santa, don't make me nervous, is that you?"

    Silence. She waits a while then returns to bed. Again a knock. She opens the door to find her drunken husband, Santa, standing there.

    "You moron! I was asking if it was you, why weren't you answering???"

    "I was nodding you!!!"
  • Accident Scene

    Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over.

    His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that."

    "Just put the jacket on backwards," his friend advised.

    They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.

    Banta came upon the accident and ran to call the police.

    They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?"

    "Well," Banta explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"
  • An Identity Problem

    Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.

    "I've come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He's due to fly in from Canada in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years."

    "Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta.

    "I'm sure I won't," said Santa, "after all, he's been away for a long time."

    "I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the Banta.

    "Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven't been away at all."