• Last Night

    One day, Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

    "What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

    "That woman I call my wife and I got into a fight," explained Santa, "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."

    The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.

    "Yeah, except today is the last night."
  • Black Coffee

    Santa and Banta went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days. As they slid in to a booth, Banta wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some moisture from the table. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted some menus.

    "No thanks," said Santa. "I'll just have a cup of black coffee."

    "I'll have black coffee too," Banta said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."

    The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off in to the kitchen. Two minutes later, she was back.

    "Two cups of black coffee," she announced. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"
  • Fastest Worker

    Santa got a part time job at the Chandigarh Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.

    Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day.

    "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."

    "Thank you, Sir" said Santa, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."

    "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"

    Santa replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."
  • Santa in Chandigarh

    Santa was visiting Chandigarh for the first time. He wanted to see the Rock Garden.

    Unfortunately, he couldn't find it, so he asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Rock Garden?"

    The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. It'll take you right there."

    He thanked the officer and the officer drove off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, Santa is still waiting at the same bus stop.

    The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Rock Garden, I said to wait here for the number 46 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

    Santa replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 43rd bus just went by!"