|Santa comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work.|
The little girl asks, "Daddy, I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"
Feeling his wife, Jeeto`s gaze upon him, Santa explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn`t believe, she knows the computer system, and is very efficient."
"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."
|The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.|
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn`t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room got quiet.
Finally, our Banta raised his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Lamaze- A technique of psychoprophylactic preparation for childbirth, designed to minimise the pain of labour.
|Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.|
"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee'."
"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."
Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"
"Yes, I did."
"Did it help?"
"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."
"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"
|A plane was taking off from New Delhi Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announnncement over the intercom.|
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain, Banta speaking. Welcome to Flight No. 333, nonstop from New Delhi to London. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now, just sit back and relax."
Then he quickly yells out loud - "OH MY GOD!"
Dead silence followed. After a few minutes, the pilot comes back on the intercom and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was speaking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it all over my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
Santa in Coach shouts back, "That`s nothing, you should see the back of mine!"