• Rooster replacement

    Banta was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Smack! The rooster disappeared under the car and up floated a cloud of feathers.
    Shaken, Banta pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.
    Banta, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster. Please allow me to replace him."
    "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "you can go join the other chickens that are around the back."
  • Wrong answer

    Santa is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his coffee.
    Banta walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Santa what the problem is.
    "Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
    "What kind of question?" asked Banta.
    "My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly." "That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will!"
    "Yeah," said Santa, "that's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO.'"
  • Ouststanding!

    A man is driving down a country road, when he spots Santa standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
    He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
    The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to our Santa and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
    Santa replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
    "How?" asks the man, puzzled.
    "Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
  • Jumping Santa

    Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
    Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn't take any notice and kept falling.
    He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
    He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
    He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you'll be killed if you don't pull the cord now.
    Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"