• Unused Condoms

    Group of army officers were sent to another town for training camp.

    Before leaving the rest of them decided to pull a fast one on one of the officer. They put a pack of condoms in his bag without him noticing it.

    When he got home his wife unpacked the bag and found condoms.

    When confronted he realized the joke and says, "We all got it as a gift. I didn't use mine... others did."

    For the last 2 weeks the whole cantonment is in turmoil..... Other wives are demanding details.
  • Shit Hit The Fan

    Banta's driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.

    When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.

    Banta scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up. When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.

    Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.

    "What happened!?!" says Banta.

    The bartender responds, "Where were you when the shit hit the fan?!"
  • Insulting Mother-in-Law

    When the Banta came home, his wife Preeto was crying.

    "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.

    "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" Banta asked.

    "I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."

    "And?"

    "At the end of the letter she wrote: PS. Dear Preeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."
  • His and Her Diary

    Wife's Diary:
    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

    I asked him what was wrong; He said, "nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

    On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
    When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

    Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
    My life is a disaster.

    Husband's Diary, same day:
    A two-foot putt... Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?