|"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked her father Santa.|
It was a moment for which Santa and Jeeto had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly.
"Does that answer your question?" Santa asked.
"Not really," the little girl said. "Dolly said she came from Delhi. I want to know where I came from."
|Jeeto came into her doctor`s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time Doctor but they`re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I`ve been here, I`ve farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"|
"Here`s a prescription, Mrs. Santa. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."
The next week, an upset Jeeto marched into Doctor`s office: "Doc, I don`t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I`m farting just as much, and they`re still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself ?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Santa," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we`ve fixed your sinuses, we`ll work on your hearing."
|Santa and Banta were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat`s provisions, Santa stumbled across an old lamp.|
Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth!
This particular Genie; however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter Santa blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned to the finest brew.
Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the sudden stillness as Santa and Banta considered their circumstances. Banta looked disgustedly at Santa and after a long, tension filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we`re going to have to pee in the boat!!"
|A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in our Santa`s field. Santa, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.|
A few days later, local cops came out looking for the missing politicians, saw the crashed bus, and asked Santa where all the politicians had gone.
Santa said, "I buried them all... out back."
Inspector asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
Santa replied, "Well, some of them said they weren`t, but you know how the politicians lie."