SantaBanta Jokes

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Awkward Questions!

Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Santa.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"

No risks

Santa went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Santa`s mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in hand, Santa went to the Indian Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to Punjab, India for a proper funeral ceremony.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Santa that the sending of a body back to India for cremation is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as fifty thousand rupees. The Consul then advised Santa that in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to cremate the body here. This would cost very less.
Santa thinks for some time and answers, "I don`t care how much it will cost to send the body back; that`s what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."
"No, it`s not that," says Santa. "You see, I know of a case many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can`t take that chance.

Airport Duty!

Once Santa and Banta got duty at the airport for the assistance to the foregin tourists.
One traveler asked Banta in Spanish, "Where to find city bus for Connaught Place”, but Banta could not answer since he did knew the language.
The traveller repeated the same question in French, German, Japnese, and English but Banta couldn`t answer because he didn`t know any of the languages.
Santa asks Banta, “I asked you to learn atleast one foreign language and it will help you one day.”
Banta said, “That man learned five languages and couldn`t serve any purpose, then how one language to me would have served any purpose."

Doctor`s advice !

Santa, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke his leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned him not to climb any stairs. Two months later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked Santa.
"Yes," he replied.
"Thank goodness!" Santa said, "I`m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"

Quotes

I've learned so much from my mistakes... I'm thinking of making a few more.

Trivia

Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors.

Graffiti

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.