• A Free Trip to Europe

    A beautiful young Goan woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her, "You have so much to live for," said the man. "Look, I'm a sailor, and we're off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

    With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe , the woman accepted.

    That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three cutlet pao and make love to her until dawn.

    Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

    "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

    "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,"she replied.

    "He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe."

    "I see," the captain says.

    "Plus," (wanting to make a full confession, she adds) "He's screwing me."

    "He certainly is," replied the captain.

    "This is the Panjim Ferry."
  • Dangerous Assumption

    On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

    The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

    The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

    Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

    The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit... She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

    "Is it wine?" she guessed.

    "No," the boy replied.

    She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne ?"

    "No," said the little boy........... "It's a puppy!"....
  • Ex-wife!!!

    An Avid Sportsman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

    After a long period of silence she finally speaks, "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."

    Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

    She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

    "You were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."

    "Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

    He replied, "I wasn't."
  • Unused Condoms

    Group of army officers were sent to another town for training camp.

    Before leaving the rest of them decided to pull a fast one on one of the officer. They put a pack of condoms in his bag without him noticing it.

    When he got home his wife unpacked the bag and found condoms.

    When confronted he realized the joke and says, "We all got it as a gift. I didn't use mine... others did."

    For the last 2 weeks the whole cantonment is in turmoil..... Other wives are demanding details.
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