Having lost his donkey, Santa got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
Santa replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I was not riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Santa and Banta went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can`t eat your own sandwiches here!"
They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Bill Gates decided not to invest further in Punjab after receiving a letter from Mr Banta
To: Bill Gates, Microsoft
Date: 1 April 2011
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice...
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Last one Mr. Bill Gates
P.S: "Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS ?"
A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
"Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration."
Banta replies, "Not until you tell me what the heck I did wrong, Officer."
The officer explain, "You didn`t come to a complete stop at the stop sign a few blocks back."
"Let me guess," said Banta, "all the wine shops are closed today!"
"Sir, I`m going to overlook that last comment. Now, if you would please show me your license and registration."
Banta counters, "Not until you tell me the difference between slowing down and coming to a complete stop."
"Sir, step out of the car."
As Banta reluctantly gets out of his car, the officer begins beating him over the head with his nightstick and exclaims, "Now, sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop!"