|An Avid Sportsman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.|
After a long period of silence she finally speaks, "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"You were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
He replied, "I wasn't."
|Group of army officers were sent to another town for training camp.|
Before leaving the rest of them decided to pull a fast one on one of the officer. They put a pack of condoms in his bag without him noticing it.
When he got home his wife unpacked the bag and found condoms.
When confronted he realized the joke and says, "We all got it as a gift. I didn't use mine... others did."
For the last 2 weeks the whole cantonment is in turmoil..... Other wives are demanding details.
|Banta's driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.|
When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.
Banta scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up. When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.
Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.
"What happened!?!" says Banta.
The bartender responds, "Where were you when the shit hit the fan?!"
|When the Banta came home, his wife Preeto was crying.|
"Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" Banta asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"At the end of the letter she wrote: PS. Dear Preeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."