|Watching Football With Wife is Really Stressful:|
Wife: Honey Which teams are playing?
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United.
Wife: Oooh wonderful! I Love Arsenal.
Husband: That's a good team.
Wife: Is Ronaldo playing?
Husband: He doesn't play for any of these teams.
Wife: Okay sweeety. Is that Chris Brown?
Husband: [bored] No he is Chamberlain.
Wife: Okay but they look the same. What's that yellow card for?
Husband: It's a Warning to the Player.
After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester United....
Wife: [celebrates in high mood] Is that Chamberlain who has scored?
Husband: [calmly] No it's Rooney for Manchester United...!!
Wife: [furious] How? it should be Arsenal who should have scored!!
Wife: What is that Red card for?
Husband: [bored] That means the player should go out of the pitch for misbehaving.
Wife: Then is he going to be a Coach?
Husband:[unwilling to answer] Aaaaaaaaa no...
Wife: It's the same with Traffic Lights: Yellow= Preparning; Red=Danger.
Husband: Exactly darling...
Wife: What about the Green Card?
Husband: Mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play....
Wife: I want Arsenal to win the World Cup...
Wife: Who is that man standing who looks like Mr. Bean?
Husband: [bored] it's the Arsenal coach, Arsene Wenger.
Wife: That means the other opponent's coach is Manchest Wenger?
Husband: [CHANGES THE CHANNEL]
|Football Rules When We Were Kids !!!|
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper.
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone was tired.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.
6. No referee and lines men. You could run with the ball even behindt the goal post.
7. If you don't participate in repairing the ball you were given a match ban.
8. If you're picked last, you're a loser.
9. The guy who's never picked to Play was to fetch the ball from the tree or when it got stuck under the car.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, Game Over.
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.
12. The most skillful player gets automatic selection.
|Once upon a time there was an archery contest.|
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...
He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams:
I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!!
The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood's arrow into two!
He takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!
The crowd cheers!!
Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position...
He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!
Then the man takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... SORRY!!!
|What if Shikhar Dhawan was to be rated in corporate style after he hit a century against South Africa????|
Dear Shikhar Dhawan,
Firstly, congratulations on team India's 130 run victory against South Africa. That is very much appreciated.
We are pleased to announce that you have been awarded a rating of 'C' (Average Performer) for this match. We realised that your score of 137 was not required when India could win by 130 runs anyway. Only 7 runs from you were needed for the win.
We thank you for your efforts and we wish you all the best for rest of the series. Should you have any questions on the appraisal system, please feel free to contact us during your net practice.
- HR Manager