|What Have We Learned This ICC Champions Trophy|
1. Eco Sports Mein 6 Airbags Hain Aur Ye Baat Itihaas Mein Likh Di Gayi Hai.
2. Airtel App Mein Sab Hai. Sab Kuch.
3. ICC CT Mein Dhoni Ne Sirf Oppo Ki Ad Mein Chakka Maara Hai.
4. Micromax Kuch Toh Bolna Chaha Raha Tha But All We Could Hear Was a Madman Laughing.
5. Samsung Ka 60000 Ka Phone Leke Kaun Paani Mein Kudega Batao ?
6. Nissan Ke Ad Mein John or Shushant Hai....
7. Term Insurance Lelo Isse Pehle Policy Bazaar Tumhara Sunaa Sunaa Ke Ticket Kaatde.
8. Bahubali Ke Writer Star Plus Pe Kuch Toh Kar Rahe Hain.
9. Mutual Funds Sahi Hai.
And Last Nut Not The Least....
10. Girlfriend Ke Ghar Perfume Lagaake Mat Jaana... Pakde Jaaoge
|A man takes his seat at IND vs PAK match.|
He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat between him & the guy next.
MAN: Who would ever miss IND vs PAK match ?
GUY: That seat was for my wife. We have been to all INDvsPAK matches together, but sadly she passed away.
MAN: Oh that's terrible! Sweet of you to have her here symbolically by keeping the vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets. you should have brought another family member or a friend with you?
GUY: I tried, but they are all at her funeral!
Men will be men
|India defeated Pakistan in the Champions Trophy match at Birmingham. Here are various reactions to this win:|
Pakistan Government denies that it ever sent a cricket team to Birmingham. It says the evidence provided by India is doctored. It challenges India to produce "unequivocal evidence" and not merely claim it won the match.
NDTV has supported Pakistan's claim.
Manishankar Aiyer claimed in fact Pakistan won the match.
Arundhati Roy has claimed that whilst Prima Facie there is no evidence that India defeated Pakistan, if it did so, it was a gross violation of the rights of innocent Pakistanis. She plans to go to International Human Rights Commission for getting this investigated.
Shashi Tharror has said it is an "exasperating farrago of distortions, misrepresentations&outright lies being broadcast by an unprincipled showman masquerading as a journalist". When the journalist tried to search for the meaning of Tharror's words, the computer crashed.
Nidhi Razdan meanwhile ousted Sambit Patra from the debate when he claimed that Pakistan lost the match.
Ravish Kumar could not be seen since the screen was kept black in mourning.
Kejriwal said that if Pakistan lost, it was probably due to "hacking of the scoreboard" and challenged ICC to have a rematch.
Prashant Bhushan plans to take this to Supreme Court at around 2 AM.
Inzmam Ul Haq was asked about the match. All he could say was, "The boys played well."
Rahul Gandhi said he would have to analyze the results and meditate before commenting. He is going to Bangkok for a month for the same purpose.
Akhilesh Yadav, when asked about the match first wanted to know how many players from Gujarat were in the winning team.
Arun Jaitley directly described the win as a result of demonetisation.
Amit Shah said this win is a proof that the people want BJP government in 2019.
Yogi Adityanath said Pakistan lost because it ate beef.
Trump has sent a confusing tweet congratulating India. It strangely reads: "Covfefe"
A correspondent tried to contact Arnab Goswami to know his reaction. He has since gone deaf, so we will never know Arnab's reaction.
|Watching Football With Wife is Really Stressful:|
Wife: Honey Which teams are playing?
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United.
Wife: Oooh wonderful! I Love Arsenal.
Husband: That's a good team.
Wife: Is Ronaldo playing?
Husband: He doesn't play for any of these teams.
Wife: Okay sweeety. Is that Chris Brown?
Husband: [bored] No he is Chamberlain.
Wife: Okay but they look the same. What's that yellow card for?
Husband: It's a Warning to the Player.
After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester United....
Wife: [celebrates in high mood] Is that Chamberlain who has scored?
Husband: [calmly] No it's Rooney for Manchester United...!!
Wife: [furious] How? it should be Arsenal who should have scored!!
Wife: What is that Red card for?
Husband: [bored] That means the player should go out of the pitch for misbehaving.
Wife: Then is he going to be a Coach?
Husband:[unwilling to answer] Aaaaaaaaa no...
Wife: It's the same with Traffic Lights: Yellow= Preparning; Red=Danger.
Husband: Exactly darling...
Wife: What about the Green Card?
Husband: Mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play....
Wife: I want Arsenal to win the World Cup...
Wife: Who is that man standing who looks like Mr. Bean?
Husband: [bored] it's the Arsenal coach, Arsene Wenger.
Wife: That means the other opponent's coach is Manchest Wenger?
Husband: [CHANGES THE CHANNEL]