|A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" |
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
"It`s a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?"
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I`m telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it."
|A wealthy American tourist checks into an Irish hotel. Upon his arrival the tiny reception area becomes filled with not only suitcases, but golf clubs, golf shoes, golf umbrellas and several boxes of golf balls.|
"Surely now, sir," cried the manager eyeing the baggage with alarm, "there must be some mistake. We`ve no golf course you see and you`ll be finding there`s not one within miles of the place."
"Well now, that`s no problem," replied the tourist. "I`m having one sent over with my heavy baggage."
|One of the women, Mrs. Smith, for over a year, could never carry the water, and would always hit into it, totally psyched out by the presence of the water. Her friend in the group suggested that she might want to see a hypnotherapist to overcome her anxiety near the water.|
So the woman went to a hypnotherapist for four sessions. In those sessions, the woman was hypnotized and the therapist would "plant suggestions" that when playing the second shot on the sixth hole, she would not see water, but rather a plush green fairway leading all the way up to the green.
About six months later, a woman at the club asked whatever happened to Mrs. Smith, that she hadn`t seen her playing golf at the club for almost four months now.
She was informed that five months earlier, Mrs. Smith had drowned at the par four sixth!
|Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. |
"Don`t you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked.
The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.
"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"
The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won`t lose it so I don`t need another one."
Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"
"That`s okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I`ll be able to retrieve it."
"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"
The other guy replied, "That`s okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I`ll be able to get it back -- no problem."
Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let`s say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"
"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent. I`ll be able to see it in the dark."
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"
The other guy replies, "I found it."