• Golf expert ?

    Tom was a man who knew all there was to know about golf. He knew all the courses, the champions, their scores, as well as the prize money the professionals had won for the past fifty years or more. He had read every book ever published on the game and knew all there was to know about technique, but, strange to say, he had never played a game.
    Having listened to him hold forth for so long his friends finally ganged up on him and insisted that he play a game. It was arranged for the following weekend.Tom set out with borrowed clubs and faced the eighteen holes of his home course.
    Five hours later he returned with a score of 53 which included eagles, nine birdies and a hole in one. Never had anyone seen such a finfour-e-performance from a beginner. However while the celebrations were going on in the clubhouse, Tom announced that he would never play again.
    "What!" cried his distraught mates.
    "What!" echoed the equally distraught pro. "But you could win all sorts of prizes for the club. You know everything there is to know about the game.""Not everything," Tom replied. "The books didn`t tell me I`d have to walk.
  • Holy one!

    A priest rushed from church one day to keep a golf date. He was halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he heard the familiar "FORE!" and a ball slammed into his back.
    Soon the golfer who had made the drive was on the scene to offer his apologies. When the priest assured him that he was all right, the man smiled.
    "Thank goodness, Father!" he exclaimed. "I ve been playing this game for forty years, and now I can finally tell my friends that I`ve hit my first holy one!"
  • Yankess fan ...

    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.
    Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. Theteacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn`t you raise your hand?"
    "Because I`m not a Yankees fan," she replied.
    The teacher, still shocked,asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?"
    "I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.
    The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?"
    "Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I m a Red Sox fan too!"
    "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don`t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"
    "Then," Janie smiled, "I`d be a Yankees fan."
  • Tree hazard !

    A young man who was an avid golfer had a few hours to spare. He figured that if he played quickly, he could squeeze in nine holes before heading home. Just as he was about to tee-off, an elderly gentleman asked if he could accompany him as he, too, was playing alone. The young man agreed. When they finally reached the ninth fairway, the young man had a tough shot-there was a large pine tree directly between his ball and the green.
    He was considering how to hit the shot, when the other man said, "When I was your age, I`d hit the ball right over that tree."
    Accepting the challenge, the younger man swung hard and hit the ball smack into the top of the tree trunk. It thudded back on the ground not far from where it originally lay.
    "Of course," the elderly man continued, "when I was your age, that pine tree was only a meter tall."