SantaBanta Restricted Jokes

Restricted
Home > Restricted Jokes and Humour
Hole Sealer!!!
Hole Sealer!!!

Try Noorani Chicken to get rid of loose motions...

Think Before You Speak

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

पुरुष का 'लिंग'!

सबसे पवित्र चीज है पुरुष का 'लिंग'

ये बहूत विनम्र है, हमेशा झुका रहता है

ये दयालु है, लडकियों की गोद भरता है

ये असली गुरु है, जो अपने दो चेलों का साथ नही छोडता

इसमें सादगी है, ये छोटी सी गुफा में रात गुजारता है

ये आदरणीय है, नारी को देख के खड़ा हो जाता है

ये कोमल है, चाहे कितना भी मोड़ो मरोड़ो इसमें से अमृत ही निकलता है, जिससे सृष्टि चलती है।

अगर आप भी लिंग धारी हैं तो इसे आगे भेजते रहिये।

Picture SMS
Breaking News:<br/>

After the overwhelming response to Tata Nano, Skoda is also coming up with a small car - and named it 'Lulli'.<br/>

Media: Why Lulli?<br/>

Skoda PR guy: Because our big car is called Laura!
Disclaimer: The visuals/cartoons are the humourous interpretation of the cartoonist. Any resemblance to person(s) or incident(s) is done with humourous intent, and not to defame, hurt or tarnish the image of any person(s).