Husband-Wife's Facebook and WhatsApp life...
Wife: Ghar kab aa rahe ho???
Husband: Pata nahi dimaag mat khao... bahut kaam hai aaj...
Wife: Dear when will you be back... you are the best husband in the world... miss you!!! Come back soon.
Husband: Thanks for being there always... so lucky to have a wonderful wife like you!!! Will be back soon honey.
Hire a lion, give him full rest, pay him more than his expectation, never ask him to do any hard work for 3 months. After 3 months tell him that now you have to fulfill your yearly target within 9 months. Otherwise you will be kicked out from the jungle. Lion dies due to fear, that if he loses this "lazy animals jungle", where will he go.
Hire a lion. Give him hell lot of work and pay him fat salary more than industry. Restructure his job, position, boss, colleagues, designation, department, salary, location every 6 months. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle. Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.
Hire a lion and give him the post of a cat, ask him to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat. He will die eventually of hope and starvation.
Hire a lion and ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40kg goat. Lion dies out of strain.
Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page circular on how to kill a goat. Amend the circular at least three times a week. Send him on inspection to the jungle, where he can threaten to cancel the hunting license of any fox, wolf, bear, jackal etc who have violated any provision of the 3000 page circular. Lion dies of boredom.
Recruits a lion, give him 50 kg meat everyday to eat when he can't eat more than 20 kg. Lion dies due to overeating.
Recruits a lion, asks him to kill elephant without any pain and scratches to it. Lion is made a part of a CFT with ducks, rabbits and pigeons telling Lion how to kill Dinosaurs. Lion is provided with three wolves to help the killing but with a pre-condition that wolves will not run or move. Lion dies due to confusion and paradoxes.
Hire a lion. Give him hell lot of work and pay him fat salary more than industry. Daily celebrate stv day, bill him lots of stvs, change product every day, he will confused...
MTS is out of race as Russians don't know about Lions - they only know about Siberian Tigers!
"Where's the barber who worked on the next chair?" asked the old
customer as he was getting a shave.
Hadn't you heard about Bill? said the barber. It was a very sad case.
He grew nervous and despondent over poor business, and one day when a customer said he didn't care for a massage he suddenly went out of his mind and slashed the customer's throat. He is in the asylum for the criminal insane now. Will you be having a massage, sir?
Sure, go ahead! said the customer.
One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!" I said.