A young farmhand is driving around the farm and making repairs to the fences.
After a few minutes, he makes a call to his boss on the two-way radio and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of the truck. He's still wriggling. What should I do?"
"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when he stops wriggling, you'll be able to pull it out and throw it in a bush off the side of the road."
The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back.
"Boss I did what you said. I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."
"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.
"Well, the blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
Gabbar ke adde par... Dhiskyon, dhiskyaon....
Gabbar: Yeh bhi bach gaya! Tera kya hoga Kaaliya?
Kaaliya: Mujhe mat maro sardaar, maine aapka namak khaya hai.
Gabbar: Safed namak ya kala namak?
Gabbar: Iodine tha kya usame?
Gabbar: Free flowing hai kya?
Kaaliya: Jee haan... Gabbar: ISI mark hai kya?
Gabbar: 'Dukan' se liya ya 'Super Market' se ya sarkaari depot se? Kaaliya: Gaon walo ne diya tha sardaar.
Gabbar: MRP dekha tha kya? Kaaliya: Haan.
Gabbar: Expiry date bhi dekhi thi kya?
Kaaliya: Haan sardaar..
Gabbar: Tata tha ya Captain Cook?
Kaaliya: Sardar, main Namak Haram hoon... mujhe goli mar do.
Bobby walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, hmm?"
Bobby says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!"
The bartender congratulates him and proceeds to pour the round.
Monday evening arrives and Bobby comes back into the bar and says, "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"
Bobby looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says, "You mean they'll PAY me too?"
Ek baar ek ladka barsaat ki raat mein ek aunty ko, jo bus stop pe khadi thi, ghar chorne chala gaya.
Ghar pahunh kar aunty ne ladke ka shukriya kiya aur boli: Beta raat bohut ho gai hai, tum yahin BITTU ke kamre me so jao!
Ladka bola: Nahin aunty mein yahin SOFA par so jaunga.
Agle din Subah ek bohut hi sundar, hot ladki chai le kar aai.
Ladka: Aap kaun ho.......??
Ladki: Me BITTU hun. Aap kaun.....??
Ladka: Main saala ullu ka pattha....