Jokes Page 2

Universal Jokes > Jokes
Page: 2
Politician Riddles...

Q: What clothes does the politicians love to wear?
A: Poll-yester clothes.

Q: Which dance do politicians love?
A: The Poll dance!

Q: What's the politician's favourite sport?
A: Poll vault.

Q: Where do Politicians send their kids?
A: To Poll-y technique colleges.

Q: What's the politician's favourite game?
A; Poll-O!

Q: What's the politician's best loved virtue?
A: Poll-iteness!

Bon Appetit!!!

Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table with a Frenchman.

At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!"

Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated.

"Bon appetit," said the Frenchman.

"Santa Ji," replied Santa.

After this had happened at every meal for three days, Santa was getting fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it.

"He tells me his name is Bon Appetit and I tell him my name is Santa, and then at the next meal, we start all over again."

The fellow traveller laughed and explained to Santa that the Frenchman was not introducing himself and that 'Bon appetit' meant "Good appetite", or "I hope that you enjoy your meal!"

Santa breathed a sigh of relief on receiving this information. Next morning, at breakfast, Santa greeted the Frenchman, "Bon appetite."

The Frenchman nodded politely and said, "Santa Ji."

Teen Sawaal...

Ek naujawan ne ek buzurg se pucha:

Jab duniya ek din fanah ho jani hai toh log is ke peche kyun bhaagte hain?
Paisa duniya mein reh jayega toh log is ke peeche zindagi kyun lutaate hain?
Cheezon ko hasil karne ke liye doston ko dushmn kyun samajhte hain?

Buzurg ne teeno sawalon ko bade gaur se suna. Phir unhone jaib se ek machis ki dabbi nikali, usmein se 3 teeliyan uthayi, phir 2 teeliyan wapis rakh diya, aur 1 teeli ko tor ke us k 2 hisse kar diye, aur agla hissa phenk diya pichley hisse ko thora sa nokdaar banaya or munh ke qareeb laa ke danton mein phasa hua khana nikalne lage aur bole: Mujhe kya pata...?

FBI Assassin

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testings were done three finalists remained. Richard, Sam and Jane were to be given a final test. For the final test, the FBI agents took Richard to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find Betty, your wife, sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"

Richard said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

Sam was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes.

Sam came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally it was Jane's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband Bob. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood Jane, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with a chair."


I've learned so much from my mistakes... I'm thinking of making a few more.


Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as a medicine.


I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.