Santa was caught by Mughal soldiers and they took him to their king Akbar.
Akbar: Kaun ho tum?
Santa: Jahanpanah, main Santa hun.
Akbar: Itni raat tum hamare mahal ke paas kya rahe the?
Santa, ghabraate hue: Ji... main...vo... kuch nahin.. bas aise hi...
Akbar: Sipahiyon, isko bandi bana do...
Santa pleads: Nahin Jahanpanah, aisa mat kariye, please mujhe banda hi rehne do.
Santa: I am in big trouble!
Banta: What happened?
Santa: I saw a rat in my house!
Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
Santa: I don't have one.
Banta: Well then, buy one.
Santa: I can't afford one.
Banta: I can give you mine if you want.
Santa: That sounds good.
Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the rat come to the trap.
Santa: I don't have any cheese.
Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
Santa: I don't have oil.
Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
Santa: I don't have bread.
Banta: Then what the hell is the rat doing in your house?
A girl was crying bitterly.
Mom: What happened dear?
Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch?
Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?
Daughter: Is my nose flat?
Mom: No baby!
Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog?
Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!
Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landing you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.