A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.
With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"
"WHEN IT CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"
"BECAUSE........... I forgot where I put it!!!"
Two babies were lying in a blanket. The 1st baby to the 2nd, "Are you a girl or a boy?"
2nd Baby: I don't know.
1st Baby: OK wait, I shall go inside the blanket and check.
After sometime, the 1st baby came out and said, "You're a girl and I am a boy"!
2nd Baby: How did you come to know?
1st Baby: It's because you're wearing pink socks and I'm wearing blue.
Moral: You better change your thinking like the kids. You see, they're innocent unlike you!
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?"
To which he replies, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management."