Little Johnny enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls Little Johhny over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
Little Johnny takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees Little Johnny coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
Little Johnny licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over."
On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.
"How romantic!" she thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tip-toed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried blonde husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway.
"Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long - I had to refill the pepper shaker."
"Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"
"More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes."
Distance between Chandigarh and Delhi = 260 kms
Distance between Delhi and Chandigarh = 260 kms
Ground Floor to 15thFloor = 15 floors
15th Floor to Ground Floor = 15 floors
Monday to Friday = 5 days
Friday to Monday = 2 days
THIS IS CHEATING!!!!!!
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.
She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"