You are convinced that chirping birds are Satans pets.
Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to stay still.
Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint.
Youd rather have a pencil jammed up your nose than be exposed to sunlight.
You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet.
You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
All day long your motto is, Never again.
You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.
Your natural response to Good morning, is Shut up!
Three women, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are lost in the forest while hunting. They each have a shotgun with 2 bullets. They make a fire. Then the redhead gets up and goes hunting.
She comes back with 2 rabbits.
The other two say, "Wow, where did you get that?"
She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw rabbits. Rabbits ran. I shot. Rabbits stopped."
Then the brunette leaves and comes back with a deer.
The other two say, "Wow, Where did you get that?"
She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw deer. Deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped."
The blonde leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue.
They others say, "Wow, where did you get that?"
She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw train. Train ran. I shot. Train didn't stop!!
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a cowboy from Wyoming stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt. One button at a time. No one moves. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest. She gasps.
He whispers in her ear, "Iron this... then get me a beer.
Anushka Sharma is turning out to be the Greg Chappel of Virat Kohli's career!
A 'Golden Duck' is all Virat Kohli could gift Anushka Sharma at the Lord's.
Virat Kohli has scored a zero because of Anushka. No!!! He has scored a 'Duck' as a tribute to Anushka Sharma's new lip job.
Anushka Sharma: "Want to hear a joke?"
Virat Kohli: "Yes."
Anushka Sharma: "Runs."
Virat Kohli: "I don't get it." Anushka Sharma: "Exactly."
Sharapova: I know Anushka but who is Virat Kohli?
BCCI has given permission to Virat Kohli that he can keep Anushka Sharma with him in England, Now Kohli can officially score Duck.
Virat Kohli has 2 ducks now. One in this match and Anushka Sharma.
Virat Kohli has right to come back to pavilion as soon as possible as Anushka Sharma has traveled so long for his company.
Virat Kohli is so deeply madly in love with Anushka Sharma that he wants to remember her in his batting scores too.
'Virat Kohli goes for Anushka Sharma' - the sentence has a whole new meaning (Goes for a duck).
Virat Kohli fell too much in love with the new duck lips of Anushka Sharma, that he did the same with his innings.
Why did Anushka Sharma came to England with Virat Kohli, when everybody knows that Indian cricketers can't perform overseas.
A women is behind every men's Success but unfortunately that not going to happen in Virat kohli and Anuska sharma's life.