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Everyone has a Peculiarity!

A man who stuttered was asked why he did so. "It's my p-p-p-p-peculiarity," he answered. "Everybody has s-s-s-some p-p-p-p-peculiarity."
"I don't have any," said the questioner.

"Don't y-y-y-you s-s-stir your c-c-c-coffee with your r-r-r-right hand?"

"Yes, of course."

"Th-that's your p-p-p-p-peculiarity. Most p-p-p-people use a s-s-s-poon !"

Height of Ignorance!

Two best friends coming out of the examination hall with chips and coke in hands.
First friend: Yaa aaj kaun sa paper tha???

Second friend: Shayad Maths ka tha yaar, but I m not sure...

First friend (surprisingly): Oye, you read the question paper???

Second Friend: Arrey nahin yaar! Mere paas kahan time tha, I saw a girl sitting besides me using a calculator.

Expensive Dress!

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.

Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind, sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear... I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.

Need a Break!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office....

When my co-worker, Santa followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"

Santa replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"

Quotes

Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot.

Trivia

'Dreamt' is the only word in the English language that ends with 'MT'.

Graffiti

If speed scares you, try Windows!