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Racing Nano!

A Nano breaks down on a roadside.

A BMW stops to help the driver.

"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your lights"

They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a Porsche speeds past 150km/h.

The BMW driver totally forgets about the nano & guns it after the Porsche.

Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ:

"Calling all stations, You won't believe this, I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 190 km/h with a Nano behind them flashing its lights to Overtake."

Everyone has a Peculiarity!

A man who stuttered was asked why he did so. "It's my p-p-p-p-peculiarity," he answered. "Everybody has s-s-s-some p-p-p-p-peculiarity."
"I don't have any," said the questioner.

"Don't y-y-y-you s-s-stir your c-c-c-coffee with your r-r-r-right hand?"

"Yes, of course."

"Th-that's your p-p-p-p-peculiarity. Most p-p-p-people use a s-s-s-poon !"

Height of Ignorance!

Two best friends coming out of the examination hall with chips and coke in hands.
First friend: Yaa aaj kaun sa paper tha???

Second friend: Shayad Maths ka tha yaar, but I m not sure...

First friend (surprisingly): Oye, you read the question paper???

Second Friend: Arrey nahin yaar! Mere paas kahan time tha, I saw a girl sitting besides me using a calculator.

Expensive Dress!

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.

Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind, sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear... I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.

Quotes

Angels, roll the rock away;
Death, yield up thy mighty prey:
See, He rises from the tomb,
Glowing with immortal bloom.

Trivia

Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors.

Graffiti

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.