Random Jokes

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Memorial Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service... the morning or the evening?"

Height of corruption

Who says India is not progressing?
It is making strides in every craft
In agriculture, in industry, in science and technology
Above all, in corruption and in graft.
There are scams after scams now
In every state and every department
You will find a stinking pot
Lying hidden in each compartment.
The bara sahib and the baba are easily bought by the lala
The mantri and santri both treat the criminal as their sala
The rate of corruption has also risen
From five to five thousand; I bet not to say of lower staff
IAS and IPS are in the CBI net.

Perfect archer

A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
"You didn`t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.
"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."
"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service."
The boy thanked him profusely.
"But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."
"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."

My Son-in-Law is an Angel

One mother in law to another, "I heard that both your son and daughter have been married off - how are they?"

"Oh, my daughter in law is really not that good. She sleeps late and expects my son to make the morning coffee. She does not cook, wants my son to take her out to eat more."

"But my son in law is an angel. He allows my daughter to stay late in bed, even makes bed coffee for her. Insists on taking my daughter out to eat so often. I tell you, I don't know what to do with my daughter in law."

Quotes

No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.

Trivia

A young rabbit is called a 'kitten'.

Graffiti

The old songs are best because nobody sings them any more.