Husband: "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!"
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.
The wife welcomed him and asked if he caught many fish?
He said, "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill and a few Swordfish. But why didn't u pack my blue silk pajamas?"
"I did... They're in your fishing box !!!
Santa realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.
"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from Rs 20 to Rs 2,000."
"Let`s see the Rs 20 model," he said.
The clerk put the device around Santa`s neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" Santa asked.
"For Rs 20 it doesn`t work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they`ll talk louder!"
A farmer took the camper off his truck before going to town. As he was going down the road five Blondes were standing beside the road hitchhiking. The farmer picked them up, one blonde got in the front and the other four blondes got in the back. As they were going over the hill the brakes went out on the truck. The farmer couldn't stop the truck and they went into the pond at the bottom.
The farmer and the blonde that were up front come up out of the water a minute later. They kept waiting for others in the back to come up.
The farmer said, "I wonder where they are?"
The blonde said, "May be they drowned."
About five minutes later they come up gasping for breath. The farmer asked, "What the Hell took you so long?"
The four blondes said, "We had a devil of a time getting that fucking tailgate open!"
Ek baar ek ladka ghar mein sharaab pee kar aaya aur apne Dad se bachne ke liye ek badi si book lekar padhne laga!
Dad: Oye nalaayak, aaj phir sharab pee kar aaya hai kya...?
Son: Nahin Dad, bilkul nahin, kyun?
Dad: Kamine, toh phir pichle 10 minute se breifcase khol ke kya bak-bak kar raha hai...