Random Jokes

Random
Universal Jokes > Random Jokes
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Learning from TV ads

1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.

2. If you've a hot wife make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.

3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.

4. Saif Ali Khan din bhar Appy Fizz & Lays khata hai and still Bade Aaram Se FIT rehta hai.

5. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.

6. You can change your country by drinking Tata Tea.

7. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

8. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married.., take her to a jewellery shop.

9. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.

10. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

Exchange Offer!!!

Ek din Santa ne newspaper mein ek advertisement dekha:

'Apna Purana Mobile Do Aur New Mobile Lo'

Santa advertisement dekhar khush ho gaya aur us address per akela chala gaya.

Wahan koi shop nahi thi aur 2 ladke aise hi khade hue the.

Santa wahan jaakar un ladkon se us advertisement ke baare mein puchta hai.

Tabhi ek ladka chaaku nikaal kar kehta hai, "Ye ad humne hi diya tha, chal purana mobile de aur jaakar naya mobile le."

The Naked Man
The Naked Man

It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming.

"Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!"

The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room.

"Where is he?" asked the receptionist.

"He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel.

The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment.

"It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?"

"The dresser!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!"

The Gorilla Catcher!

A man wakes up one morning and found a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an advert for "Gorilla Catchers" He calls the number, and the gorilla cathcer, Santa, says he will be over in 30 minutes.

Santa arrives within 30 minutes and gets out of his van.

He's got a LADDER, a BASEBALL BAT, a SHOTGUN and a HUGE DOG.

"What are you going to do", the house owner asks?

Santa said, "I'm going to put this LADDER up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this BASEBALL BAT. When the gorilla falls off, the DOG is trained to grab the gorilla's testicles and squeeze. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the house owner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the house owner.

Santa replies, "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, SHOOT THE DOG."

Quotes

A kiss is the shortest distance between two souls.

Trivia

The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.

Graffiti

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.