Alarmed by the prolonged discussions of his case by a group of doctors by his bedside, a patient said, "There must be something terribly wrong with me."
"Why do you say that?" asked the doctor.
"All the other doctors seem to disagree with your diagnosis."
"Don't you worry." consoled the doctor. "In a similar case sometime back I stood firm on my diagnosis and the postmortem proved me right!"
It was during the World War II. The army transport was several days out of New York, and running without lights in the submarine zone.
Some of the fellows were having a little sociable game of poker. In the midst of some friendly kicking and re-kicking, there was a mighty impact against the boat.
All was quiet for a moment and then a voice rang out: "We Are Torpedoed!"
All the card players but one jumped to their feet.
"Hold on, fellows !" shouted the one who remained seated. "You cannot leave me now, I've got four Aces !!!"
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.
Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the young surgeon in training about it.
"Don`t worry about a thing, nurse," the young doctor assured her. "He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
Santa was hauled up in a court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded: `Did you beat up your neighbour?`
`Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.`
`Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, would not you have beaten him up?`