• Can somebody explain me why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from earth?
    Can somebody explain me why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from earth?
  • I went on a date with a woman whose online profile said she had an `infectious smile`.<br/>
She had cold sores!
    I went on a date with a woman whose online profile said she had an "infectious smile".
    She had cold sores!
  • My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.<br/>
He's the Spokesman!
    My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.
    He's the Spokesman!
  • My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab.<br/>
The results speak for themselves!
    My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab.
    The results speak for themselves!
  • For those needing motivation:<br/>
The past tense of fit is fat!
    For those needing motivation:
    The past tense of fit is fat!
  • When your boss scolds you and you can't do anything about it, you come back home and take your frustration out on your younger brother because you know he won't fight back. 
<br/>
This is what India is doing to West Indies after the England tour!<br/>
#IndvWI
    When your boss scolds you and you can't do anything about it, you come back home and take your frustration out on your younger brother because you know he won't fight back.
    This is what India is doing to West Indies after the England tour!
    #IndvWI
  • With every passing hour, you are one hour closer to your next food!
    With every passing hour, you are one hour closer to your next food!
  • A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says: <br/>
`You can't do that, Bishops can only move diagonally`!
    A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says:
    "You can't do that, Bishops can only move diagonally"!
  • One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is being smart enough to know there's a better way to do something but not smart enough to invent a way to do it!
    One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is being smart enough to know there's a better way to do something but not smart enough to invent a way to do it!
  • No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want!
    No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want!