• If she wants to be chased, she better steals my pizza or something!
    If she wants to be chased, she better steals my pizza or something!
  • You two make marriage bliss look easy. You deserve the happiest of days.<br/>
Love you Mom and Dad, and Happy Anniversary!
    You two make marriage bliss look easy. You deserve the happiest of days.
    Love you Mom and Dad, and Happy Anniversary!
  • I thought I was late for my flight so Iran.<br/>
The guy at the boarding gate said Aap Qatar Mein Hain Aap Kuwait Karna Padega.<br/>
I asked are you sure?<br/>
He said Yemen.<br/>
I was like Oman!
    I thought I was late for my flight so Iran.
    The guy at the boarding gate said Aap Qatar Mein Hain Aap Kuwait Karna Padega.
    I asked are you sure?
    He said Yemen.
    I was like Oman!
  • Boy: I don't eat peppers, mushrooms, onions or seafood.<br/>
Girl: Well, I don't date children so this is over!
    Boy: I don't eat peppers, mushrooms, onions or seafood.
    Girl: Well, I don't date children so this is over!
  • Putting out candles on a birthday cake represents very beautifully that how for life to start blooming someone must blow!
    Putting out candles on a birthday cake represents very beautifully that how for life to start blooming someone must blow!
  • Maturity is realising how many things don't require your opinion!
    Maturity is realising how many things don't require your opinion!
  • I cherish the moment I held you in my arms,<br/>
Your innocent face and cute little charms,<br/>
Thanks darling for coming my way,<br/>
Wish you a Happy Daughter's Day!
    I cherish the moment I held you in my arms,
    Your innocent face and cute little charms,
    Thanks darling for coming my way,
    Wish you a Happy Daughter's Day!
  • I got soft closing doors installed throughout the house so we don't wake the kids at night but now I have no way of telling when the wife is in a bad mood!
    I got soft closing doors installed throughout the house so we don't wake the kids at night but now I have no way of telling when the wife is in a bad mood!
  • Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself!
    Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself!
  • A girl agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of Lemonade!<br/>
You could say, I Schwepped her off her feet!
    A girl agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of Lemonade!
    You could say, I Schwepped her off her feet!