|Okay Google, call my wife and tell her that I'll be late and won't be there for dinner.|
Google Assistant: Okay, will do.
Google Assistant: Next time, you talk to your wife yourself!
|Newton's fourth law:|
'I love' is static
'You' is changeable!
|Therapy is a software update. Surgery is a hardware upgrade!|
|Divorces would be a lot more awkward if the groom had to formally return the bride to the bride's father!|
|If you're afraid to check your account balance, you probably need to check your account balance!|
|Eyebrows. The only thing you can get in shape without exercise!|
|As long as you add "Instagram" in front of a noun, it automatically reduces the value of the noun.|
EG "Instagram model", "Instagram photographer", "Instagram poems"!
|In this generation, people ignore each other to get each other's attention!|
|Girl: Why are you always following me?|
Boy: Because my parents told me "follow your dreams"!
|Don't stress over people in your past. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future!|