|Pretending to be sober in public is like doing your best impression of yourself!|
|The doctor has advised me to add more fruits to my diet.|
So I have started adding more lime to my tequila!
|A real man is one who takes success and failure in equal measure.|
60 ml, to be precise!
|Do you suffer from shyness?|
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
Ask your Doctor or Pharmacist about Tequila!
|I am giving up alcohol for a month!|
Wait... I got that wrong.
I am giving up. Alcohol for a month!
|If they don't have liquor at my funeral, I'm not going!|
|Salty food makes you dehydrated.|
Alcohol makes you dehydrated.
Human body is 70% water.
This means eating chips and beer should cause weight loss.
There's something wrong with science!
|Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better.|
Those people are called bartenders!
|Beer may not make you smart, Budweiser!|
|I found a wallet with 20 quid in it. I wasn't sure how to proceed, but then I thought, "What would Jesus do?"|
So I turned it into wine!