• How do people get the right drunk? I'm either really sober and bored or smashed out my face and ruining my life!
    How do people get the right drunk? I'm either really sober and bored or smashed out my face and ruining my life!
  • If it weren't for Whiskey, we would have to spend winters evenings talking to our wives!
    If it weren't for Whiskey, we would have to spend winters evenings talking to our wives!
  • You can't make everybody happy.<br/>
You must understand, you're human and not beer!
    You can't make everybody happy.
    You must understand, you're human and not beer!
  • Alcohol: The fuel used in the engine of bad decisions!
    Alcohol: The fuel used in the engine of bad decisions!
  • Saturday night and I'm about to hit the gym!<br/>
Sorry typo, I meant gin!
    Saturday night and I'm about to hit the gym!
    Sorry typo, I meant gin!
  • Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need.<br/>
Better to be safe than sober!
    Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need.
    Better to be safe than sober!
  • If you hate your job then there's a support group for that. It's called `Everybody` and they meet at the bar!
    If you hate your job then there's a support group for that. It's called "Everybody" and they meet at the bar!
  • Always drink whiskey responsibly.<br/>
Please don't spill it!
    Always drink whiskey responsibly.
    Please don't spill it!
  • Good whiskey makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place!
    Good whiskey makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place!
  • If you're rich and drink alcohol in the middle of the day you're successful. If you're poor and drink alcohol in the middle of the day then you're an alcoholic!
    If you're rich and drink alcohol in the middle of the day you're successful. If you're poor and drink alcohol in the middle of the day then you're an alcoholic!