• If you received a text from me last night, please disregard it.<br/>
My phone was drunk!
    If you received a text from me last night, please disregard it.
    My phone was drunk!
  • You don't really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with him!
    You don't really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with him!
  • Surround yourself with people who have issues.<br/>
Because these people always have alcohol!
    Surround yourself with people who have issues.
    Because these people always have alcohol!
  • Today I learned that the average person consumes nine alcoholic drinks a week.<br/>
Today I also learned that I am above average!
    Today I learned that the average person consumes nine alcoholic drinks a week.
    Today I also learned that I am above average!
  • It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.<br/>
Alcohol is a solution!
    It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.
    Alcohol is a solution!
  • It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub.<br/>
It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.<br/>
The difference is staggering!
    It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub.
    It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.
    The difference is staggering!
  • A new group called Alcoholics Unanimous has been founded, if you don't feel like having a drink, you ring a member and he comes over to persuade you!
    A new group called Alcoholics Unanimous has been founded, if you don't feel like having a drink, you ring a member and he comes over to persuade you!
  • Wheat makes Beer.<br/>
Corn makes Whisky.<br/>
Grapes make Wine.<br/>
Potatoes make Vodka.<br/>
One just can't get drunk without farmers!
    Wheat makes Beer.
    Corn makes Whisky.
    Grapes make Wine.
    Potatoes make Vodka.
    One just can't get drunk without farmers!
  • Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!
    Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you may need... Because it's better to be safe than sober!
  • My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.<br/>
#Navratras
    My liver is temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance.
    #Navratras